Tuesday, September 16, 2008

My precious moment with D* (2)

Lately, D* has been asking me a lot about babies.

She told me this the other day…

D*: “Mama, mama makanlah banyak-banyak. Nanti perut mama dah besar, boleh ada baby!”. ("Mama, you should eat a lot. When your tummy is all big, you'll have a baby!")

Hahahaha....if only it were that simple to have babies.

God, I’m not ready yet to have a conversation with her about the birds and the bees. When is the right time to have that conversation anyway? I never had that conversation with my mom. I had to learn about it through friends and I remember getting shocked when I first heard what sex is all about. :)

But seriously guys, when is the right time to have that talk with the kids? And how detail should we go? I’m sure there’s a standard script somewhere........

Saturday, September 6, 2008

It's been a while...

Gosh..has it been that long? 2 whole months of being away from the blogging world.

Yes, I have been busy and during the rare occasions when I’m not, I just don’t have the energy to write.

A few changes have happened to me lately. I’ve moved to a new unit, moved to a new cubicle and have a new boss. I initially wanted to move out totally from the department but the bosses wouldn’t let me. They gave me some stupid reason which didn’t make any sense at all. Until now, I’m still puzzled over the whole thing.

So since they didn’t let me leave, I asked to be moved to a different unit. Things have been pretty ok, so far. It was tough being the new person, having to learn and catch up fast. My new boss hasn’t given me his feedback but I hope I have not been a disappointment.

There’s a lot more to learn and all I can do right now is to just give my best. I never said I was great and it was never my plan or intention to outshine anyone. I’m just here to learn. That’s all.

We’ve completed 2 big events so far. I wouldn’t exactly call it a major success but it wasn’t a disaster either. Given the lack of resources in the unit now, I think we did just fine. In fact, I think we did quite well. There’s 9 more sessions to go and hopefully, things will still be ok for us.

Thursday, July 3, 2008

"What to wear tomorrow?!"


Thought I’d drop by and share my sad and pathetic story.

Every night (well, almost every weekday night) I spend about 10 minutes staring at my wardrobe and ask myself the same question: “What the *toot* do I wear tomorrow?”

It’s starting to become a chore and I dread the time when I have to do it.

Oklah, don’t get me wrong. Of courselah I have clothes but it’s the same old boring clothes. Everytime I choose an outfit, I find myself asking “When was the last time I wore this?”, Don’t want it to be too recent, or else people might say “Takde baju lain ke si Trueblue ni?”. I don't mean to sound vain but seriously, I am bored with what I have. Its' not just the collection but also the style.

When I was browsing through my clothes last night, it struck me how ‘tak fashionable-nya’ I am. Glamour and trendy are the last two things people can say about me. I am really just a simple person. It's not that I don’t want to look hip and happening, I just don’t know how. Maybe I should seek help from a fashion consultant or someone who can advise me on the clothes that would look good on me. I don’t want to wear something sexy but more of wanting to look a bit bergaya-lah. And by bergaya, I don’t mean expensive.

My hubby gets annoyed when he catches me staring at my cupboard. His suggestion is that I tag my clothes to each day of the working week. In that way, I will know what to wear on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and so on. But assigning the clothes to a particular day wouldn’t really work because there would be times when I’m not in the mood to wear that particular attire. So I end up staring again.

Gosh! It’s hard being a woman…the pressure of having to look good all the time.

I know, I know. Not knowing what to wear is not exactly a national crisis. I can still survive :).

I guess I just need to update my wardrobe and learn to mix and match things.

Shopping time, people……..

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

ATTENTION ALL READERS (yeah, thats probably just me alone)

Who am I kidding?

I've obviously run out of ideas or too busy or sometimes just can't be bothered to blog nowadays.

I think I should stop blogging for a while or who knows, forever.

Not that anyone cares pun anyway kan.

So too-re-loo for now.

*Trueblue temporarily signing off*

Sunday, June 1, 2008

Trueblue's rumbling tummy weekend

I was planning to spend quality time with D* this weekend. I wanted to pamper her and pretty much do anything that she wanted.

But oh no...Instead, I spent 'quality' time in the toilet. Yes, there was another attack of diarrhea yesterday. I had nasi lemak for breakfast and I remember telling myself a few times how damn good that nasi lemak was. I rarely eat nasi lemak (because of the 'jaga badan' thingy) so having it yesterday, felt like heaven. I don't know if I got the food poisoining from the nasi lemak but a few hours after having breakfast, I just felt like throwing up. My tummy went into a roller coaster ride and I guess the rest is history.

I couldn't get much sleep last night because half of the time was spent in the toilet. Now thats what I call 'quality' time. My poor stomach. Poor me :(

The project came to an end last Friday. I'm happy because I don't have to see that damn Project Manager again but rather sad because I have to part with the team members. We've become close the last 4 months and I'm gonna miss the bond and closeness we had. I couldn't have asked for a better bunch of team mates. We went through the good and bad (especially the bad!) times together and whatever crappy things the PM did to us, only made us much closer.

The PM asked for a close-out lunch last Thursday, apparently to say thank you for our contribution to the project. Hmmmmppphhh..some lunch that was. They arranged for a long table and we sat on one side while the Consultants and him sat on the other side. We didn't even talk together as a group. The team mates and I had our own conversation. And please don't expect a Thank You speech. We pretty much ate and left after that. So much for saying thank you. Come to think of it, not once...yes, NOT ONCE during those 4 months did he ever say thank you to us. *sheesh* What a jerk!

I'll be back at my old department next week. *groan*. As much as I wanted the project to end, I'm not exactly that eager to go back too. Oh well, its not that I have a choice. I have to go back somewhere......

My tummy is making some awful sounds. Need to go back to bed and rest now. Enjoy the rest of your weekend. I certainly won't be having much fun.

Saturday, May 10, 2008

A year older...

...but not necessarily a year wiser :)

Its my birthday today.

God..I feel soooo old.

Thanks to all who sent me birthday wishes. I appreciate it very much.

Thursday, May 1, 2008

The bashing session

Being scolded like a 2 year old by the Project Manager wasn’t a wonderful feeling.

I’ve been working for nearly 10 years now and this is the first time I’ve been in that situation. Thank God it wasn’t just me alone.

My colleague and I had to endure the painful moment for about half an hour and that half an hour felt like half a day. I was shocked and got really scared when he started screaming at my colleague. I can still picture his face. I think his eyeballs nearly popped out.

He was upset because we gave him some advice about his role as a Project Manager. Well, I guess the truth hurts, huh? He went on to nag and nag and nag. There were many irritating things that he said but I just don’t have the energy to type it all here. I really wanted to say something back but there was really no point. Let him say what he wants. So my colleague and I just sat there in his room and waited for him to stop babbling.

He expects some respect from the team but seriously, respect has to be earned.

The team exchanged stories after that and all of us concluded one thing:
He’s mentally unstable….

I just can’t wait till this project is over.

Friday, April 25, 2008

My precious moment with D*

D* and I had a conversation the other day...

Me: D* dah besar nanti nak kerja kat mana?
D*: D* nak kerja kat ofis macam Mama
Me: Oh ye ke...? Mama kat ofis kerja apa?
D*: Mama kat ofis kan, Mama bukak komputer...lepas tu Mama tekan-tekan..

I just burst out laughing.

Oh well..can't really blame her. I guess that's all she sees when I bring home my laptop and do my work.

If only she knew how much more brain effort is required apart from just the 'tekan-tekan'.

Thursday, April 24, 2008

Hard to say goodbye...

I can’t imagine losing my other half.
When I heard Mariah Carey’s new song ‘Bye-Bye’, it just made me feel so sad. The pain, the sadness…it scares the hell out of me.

It’s a sweet song. A tribute to someone we love….

This is for my people who just lost somebody
Your best friend, your baby, your man, or your lady
Put your hand way up high
We won’t ever say bye (no no no)

Mamas, daddies, sisters, brothers, friends, and cousins
This is for my people who lost their grandmothers
Lift your head to the sky
Cause we won’t ever say bye

As a child, there were them times
I didn’t get it, but you kept me alive
I didn’t know why you didn’t show up sometimes
On Sunday mornings
But I’m glad we talked through
All them grown full things separation brings
You never let me know it, you never let it show
Because you loved me, and obviously
There’s so much more left to say
If you were with me today, face to face

Never knew I could hurt like this
And everyday life goes on I
Wish I could talk to you for awhile
Miss you but I try not to cry
As time goes by
And its true that you’ve reached a better place
Still, I’d give the world to see your face
And be back here next to you
But it’s like you’ve gone too soon
Now the hardest thing to do
Is say bye bye

And you never got a chance to see how good I’ve done
And you never got to see me back at number one
I wish that you were here to celebrate together
I wish that we could spend the holidays together
I remember when you used to tuck me in at night
With the teddy bear you gave me that I held so tight
I thought you were so strong
You’d make it through whatever
It’s so hard to accept the fact you’re gone forever

Thursday, April 17, 2008

Chaos at work

I have been attached to this project since last February and from then on, things have been a bit chaotic. To be honest, I really didn’t want to join the project in the first place. Didn’t feel I was the right person to go. I still don’t know why the bosses chose me (I still want to think it was because there were not many people left to choose from). I did try to reason with the boss but what to do… if the boss says go, we have to go.

Anyway, I did mention things have been chaotic, right? The project started way back in April last year. We were brought in to help out in the Implementation phase. Let me tell you, it is REALLY TOUGH to implement something when the earlier team didn’t do a good job during the Business Review phase. Syndication wasn’t done properly; they proposed something without checking with the appropriate department, we didn’t get enough buy-in and since everything was done at a high level, people didn’t really understand what was going on.

It also doesn’t help when the Project Manager is being difficult. All he does is sit in his room, doing God knows what. He only comes to see us when he wants to review things. It pisses him off when we start questioning things and thinks we are against the whole idea. We are not against the project and understand its intent but the reason we are questioning is because we want clarity on certain things. We were not there during the review phase so isn’t it logical that we are going to ask questions? Please make us understand so that it is easy for us to sell the idea to the stakeholders. He doesn’t attend some of the key meetings we have with the stakeholders; he’s not there with us in our team discussions, so of course he wouldn’t understand the difficulty we go through. The stakeholders have raised some concerns and we perfectly understand what they mean because it makes sense. When we tell him (Project Manager) about it, he doesn’t seem to care. He makes us feel like we are a bunch of idiots and it looks like we just have to do what we are told. It’s driving us crazy!! I’ve been involved with a number of projects since I started working and this is my first encounter with a Project Manager who doesn’t seem to have a clue of what to do.

Things have been so intense and my mind has been so pre-occupied with the mess at work that I don’t even have time to feel sorry about myself. I felt so down during the first few weeks of the project, questioning my ability and all. Sometimes I do get the same feeling but I try to ignore it by making myself busy. What else can I do? I’m just going to contribute and perform to the best of my ability. Whether people recognize it or not, is another story.

Oh by the way, I also just realized that I’ve been using the same handbag for the past 3 weeks!! Talk about being so engrossed with work….Nak tukar handbag pun terlupa :)

Monday, April 7, 2008


It really is frustrating and annoying when you send your car for a wash and 10 minutes later, it starts to rain!!

Arghhhh...there goes my RM12.

Wednesday, April 2, 2008

Word of Day...

My word of the day or perhaps the next few days would be..


Monday, March 24, 2008

So how?

I don’t know how else to explain it.

I know what I am. I know what I can and cannot do. I know my ability. I know what I can offer.

So I cannot see what they see.

I don’t know if this is about self confidence but what else can I say? I’m just trying to explain how blatantly obvious things are in the office. Come on, let’s be honest here.

Do you have any idea how terrified I have been feeling? I can’t help but to compare myself with the best. Boy, do I have a loooooooong way to go….

I do things within my own limits. It can’t get any better than that.

I am very aware of my capacity. So let’s not go overboard.

Don’t get me wrong. I appreciate compliments but at some certain level, we need to remain realistic.

There have been differing views anyway. So you can't actually expect me to believe the whole thing.

Thursday, March 13, 2008

21 subjects? *eeeekk*

Are kids nowadays getting smarter or the examination standard getting much lower?

20 1As and 1 2A?

Gosh...I could barely make it through 8 subjects during my SPM days!! Well, I didn't do that bad but I didn't get straight As either!

I can't imagine myself taking 21 subjects. I think I'll go bonkers. I don't think I would have a life.

Some people are just plain smart. They just concentrate in class, do a bit of homework and they're there. Me? I really, really have to work hard if I want to score.

So I guess taking 21 subjects is really out of the question for me.

Congratulations to adik Azali Azlan who was announced as the Best SPM (2007) student in Malaysia. Hats off to you!

Note: Do we go for quality of subjects taken or quantity now?

Thursday, March 6, 2008

Duty calls...

Marilah mari....
Pergi mengundi..
Jangan lupa kewajipan..pada negara..


Are you guys ready to do some voting?

It'll be interesting to see the commotion this Saturday.

Friday, February 29, 2008

Trueblue feeling blue-Part 2

No. I did not get well.

Another week of pain and suffering.

I forgot to mention in my previous entry that apart from all the sore throat and coughing, I was also suffering from diarrhea. It wasn't that major so I chose to ignore it. I was hoping it would go away by itself. But after 4 days and I still had tummy aches, I thought I'd better get it checked out. The Dr gave me some pills for the tummy and antibiotics.

However, in the next few days I was still in pain and continued going to the toilet even after finishing the course of antibiotics. Something was not right.

I then started to get chills and fever on day 9 of the illness. I was shivering! Went back to the clinic and Dr suspected it was Salmonella food poisoning. I was given a new set of antibiotics and few days of MC to rest.

As of today I still have stomach cramps and I still feel weak. For the past 3 days, I lost my appetite to eat and with all the constant visits to the toilet, I have lost a bit of weight too. Good news on that but not exactly done in a good way.

There's too much work to be done. I'm worried that I'm letting other people down.

Pray that I'll get better soon.

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Trueblue feeling blue

I haven’t been feeling well since last week.

It initially began with having wisdom tooth pain. I wasn’t able to eat or sleep properly. I know the cure is to just take the damn teeth out but I’m too chicken to do it. I have been delaying for the past 10 years! For the past one week, I had to depend on pain killers. I feel better now but I know its not gonna be for long. The pain will definitely come back again. *groan*

Yesterday morning I had a sore throat and was coughing a bit. Took some strepsils and hoped I would be ok. Well, apparently not…

I had to attend an assessment that lasted about 2 hours that morning. After all the talking, I suddenly realized I lost my voice at the end of the session.

And today, I am still unable to get my voice back. The more I talk, the more ‘serak’ it gets. I always thought people with husky voices sound so sexy but when I listen to myself, I don’t think I’m any near to sounding sexy. I think I sound more like an old granny :(

Oh my poor throat. Perhaps I just need to shut up for a few days.

Update (as of 20/2/08):

My daughter, D* was shocked to hear my croaky voice last night.

D*: Kenapa mama takde suara?
Me: Mama sakit
D*: Ok. Mama wait here. D* go take doctor-doctor

She ran to her room, rummaged through her toy box and took out her doctor tool kit. She then ran back to me, took out one of the tools and asked me to open my mouth. She started doing some checking and kept on saying "hmmmm", "hmmmm". When the check up was done, she gave me a spoon and said "mama makan ubat".

When it was time for bed, she insisted to sleep with me because she wanted to take care of me.
"Mama, jangan talk so much. Mama must rest ok?"

I woke up this morning feeling much better. Thanks sweetheart. Thanks for the TLC.

Wednesday, February 6, 2008

The ShOcKiNg sms

Do you guys pick up your phone when you see its an unknown number?

I personally don't. Why? Because it’s usually those marketing people who want to promote credit cards, hotel packages etc and I just can’t be bothered to get into that conversation. However, for some bizarre reason, I did pick up my phone when it rang last Saturday night, even though I knew I didn’t recognize the number. I guess I was in a good mood and thought perhaps it could be some long lost friend or something.

The so-called conversation that took place:
Me: Hello?
Stranger: Hello?
Me: Hello?
Stranger: Hello?
Me: Yes. Hello?
Stranger: Hello? (hung up)

I was already irritated by then. Who was this strange guy who kept saying hello and nothing else? That was 15 seconds of my life that I can’t get back. A few minutes later, I received an sms. It was from the same number. I was shocked and almost fell off my chair when I read the message:

“Nak s*nt*t you boleh tak?” (I don’t even want to try to translate this into English)

What kind of question is that? You can’t possibly ask that to strangers and expect them to answer ‘boleh’. Was he trying his luck? *Sheesh*

I was tempted to reply and give him a piece of my mind but then decided not to. I chose not to ‘layan’. I didn’t want to encourage him in case he might think that was a signal to further communicate. Besides, there was also a possibility that he had the wrong number or something.

After a few minutes, he called again. The same conversation of ‘Hello?’, ‘Hello?’, and ‘Hello?’ took place. He then hung up.

Some time later, he sent another sms and asked “ni sape?" (Who’s this?). This guy was really testing my patience. I still chose not to reply and thank God it stopped after that.

I just wonder where these weirdos come from. I shouldn’t have picked up my phone in the first place.

Note to self: Never, ever, ever pick up phone when it’s an unknown number. You never know what you might get!

Friday, February 1, 2008


"Sometimes we search too hard for answers that is right in front of us..."

Its one of those times when I feel life at work is really crappy.

I so want to quit but don't think thats the best option right now.

*Patience Trueblue, patience...*

p/s: Happy KL, Putrajaya & Labuan Day

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Ideas, Ideas....where have you been?

I think I have lost my ability to write.

Is it that or maybe I’ve just run out of ideas?

Ok, before you guys get shocked and question “Trueblue writes?”, what I meant was sharing my stories in this blog (with the limited writing skills that I have) and not so much writing like great writers/authors/storytellers out there. Get it?

I haven’t been updating my blog as much as I want to. Sometimes, I have stories to share but no time to write it. There are times when I have time to write but get stuck in how to tell the story (in an interesting way that is). There are also times when I have no idea what to write. Zilch. Zero. Some people have the gift or the talent. They just simply write what comes to their mind. My time has been full of activities lately that I don’t even have time to read other people’s blog.

I miss blogging. I miss the excitement and that eager feeling I used to have when after posting an entry, I’ll start to plan what to story to share next.

I could blame Facebook for this. I admit that my attention has been diverted to that. Not to say that I’m addicted to Facebook but in terms of updating my whereabouts etc, doing it through Facebook is so much easier. You just click on applications, invite friends, send a few gifts, do a bit of poking, leave a message or two and wallllah, you’re good to go. You don’t get bogged down with trying to come up with a good story, structure sentences, etc.

Oh well, I guess it's not the end of the world. It's not like you guys care anyway, right? So what if Trueblue’s been quiet for a while. Surely, there are other much more interesting blogs to read.

Before you guys yawn and say "so what, Trueblue?" , I think its best that I bid farewell for now.

Till my next entry…whenever that will be.

Cheerio and have a good day.

Tuesday, January 8, 2008

Don't be so tactless-lah....

I don’t understand why some people do this.

Haven’t they heard of sayings like “if you don’t have anything nice to say, better not say anything at all” or “some things are better left unsaid”?

Two things (amongst a few others) that I would never tell anyone:
1. Gosh, you look fatlah. Have you put on weight?
2. Oh my, that’s a big pimple you have on your face!

AND….I especially would not tell this to people I hardly know or rarely meet. Got no better topic to talk about, is it?

Come on la…the person is probably already uncomfortable/embarrassed with the situation/appearance, do you really need to rub it in? Do you actually have to make it so obvious?

It really doesn’t take much effort to be a bit more sensitive.

Thursday, January 3, 2008


Has 2 weeks passed by already??!! Unbelievable...

Why does time fly by so fast when we're having fun? Sob..sob..

Today is my first day at work. There are no words to explain how lazy I feel. Wish I was back in bed. :)

How was your new year?