Monday, April 30, 2007

The 51 things

Eiseai tagged me to do this some time ago. Sorry it took so long, dear :)

1. Your gender:
Very much a female :)

2. Single?
Not anymore

3. Want to be?
A better person

4. Age?
32 in 10 days!

5. Age you wish you were:
Being a teenager again would be good but this age is not actually that bad. Like they say, with age, comes experience

6. The color of your eyes:
Dark brown

7. Yourself:
Too nice

8. Your Hair:
A lot! :) Must have it layered….

9. Your Favorite Item:
Has to be my phone

10. Your Favorite Drink:
Nothing in particular. Warm water is still the best, I think

11. The Room You Are In:
I’m in the office now. Don’t have a room (just a gundu maaa).

12. Your Pets:
Used to have a cat called ‘Meow’ but she left us. Sob..sob

13. What you want to be in Ten Years:
If my other half hits the jackpot, I hope to retire young and do nothing. Hihi. But seriously, I hope I’m still healthy so that I’ll be able to do a lot of things, especially to take care of my loved ones. Career wise, of course I want to be in a better position than where I am right now.

14. What You're Not:
A control freak

15. One of Your Wish list Items:
The discipline to exercise

16. The Last Thing You Did:
Spring clean my office desk

17. Your Favorite Book:
Don’t have one in particular but I love Jodi Picoult’s books.

18. The Last Thing You Ate:
Lamb chop, fries and coleslaw (last night’s dinner)

19. Your Life:
Is like a roller coaster. Many ups and downs

20. Your Mood:
Bored at the moment. I should have taken leave today. Yawnnnnnn…..

21. Favorite color:
Dah nama pun Trueblue, so its obviously BLUE

22. My lover is:
My other half

23. I'm listening to:
Timbaland’s Give it to me

24. Maybe I should:
Start doing some work!

25. I love:
My family, of course

26. My best friends are:
My close friends (they know who they are)

27. I don't understand:
Nasty people

28. I miss:
Being slim :)

29. A lot of people say:
that I'm too patient

30. The meaning of my name:
I don’t think it has any meaning

31. Love is:
"Love is the master key that opens the gates of happiness." - Oliver Wendell Holmes

32. Read the newspaper:
Almost everyday.

33. Take walks in the rain:
Whatever for?

34. Drive:
A Honda Civic

35. Like to drive fast?
Depends if it’s a long straight road and there’s no passengers with me

36. Been out of the country:

37. Been in love:
Definitely a yes!

38. Ran away from home:

39. Been on stage:
Yes, various events during secondary school, university and work.

40. Judged other people by their clothing:
Don’t judge but just wonder

41. Are you trendy?
Not really. I’m just a simple person

42. Something that happened to you in 1995?
The year I entered university

43. Last thing you said aloud?
“Hi babe”, to a colleague who passed by

44. What colour is your toothbrush?

45. Last thing you bought?
Petrol for my car

46. Best ice cream flavour?

47. Last person you hugged?
My daughter

48. Do you talk a lot?
Maybe only with my family. With others, I tend to listen more

49. Is laughter the best medicine?
Most definitely. There’s nothing like a good laugh to brighten up the day

50. Do you prefer giving smiles or getting them?
Both but to give, I must know the person. It’s hard to smile at total strangers

51. Do you admit when are wrong?

Wednesday, April 25, 2007


Tomorrow has been declared a holiday! And I'll be taking leave on Friday. So, a long weekend for me. Yeah....!

I just want to relax and do nothing.

If you guys are taking a long break, have a great one!

I know I will :)

Monday, April 23, 2007

Damn slow


What the hell is wrong with me?

Have you ever had those days or moments where you feel like you are the most stupid person on earth? That's exactly what I'm feeling right now.

My brain doesn't seem to be functioning well today. I can't put two and two together. I find it hard to digest information. Something so simple to someone else sounds so ridiculously alien to me! I keep staring into space and thinking 'huh?', 'what?'. I'm in blur land at the moment. Everything seems to be going slow. I feel mentally tired. Been trying so hard to think but something seems to be blocking the use of my head. I feel like I'm torturing my brain.

What the hell is wrong with me?

Am I too overwhelmed with the number of assignments given to me lately? Or am I just too nervous because the assignment is something new? I am still at the confused stage and not 100% sure what to do. Been given a lot of reading materials to read lately and I fear I won't be able to quickly catch up. Now is that stupid or what? Damn...Maybe I expect too much from myself. I wanna do a good job and now I feel pressured to prove that I can do it.

Seriously, I'm having panic attacks now. Ok Trueblue...relax and take a deep breath...


Monday, April 16, 2007

My U.R.S

When it comes to shoes for the office, I’m not that particular about the brand. I may be fussy about the design but it doesn’t have to be overly expensive. The main thing is it fits my feet well and comfortable enough for office wear. Gone are the days of wearing really high heeled shoes. After having a kid, the last thing I want to do is to strain my back. Skinny, pointed heels are a no-no for me. The heel has to be thick and not more than 3 inches high.

Everyone has a favourite pair of shoe and mine would be this U.R.S and Inc shoe I bought 3 years ago. There’s nothing fancy or unique about the shoe but it’s so comfortable to wear. Even after long walks, my feet won’t easily get tired. I like it so much that until today, I wear it to the office. It does look a bit worn-out but I really don’t care.

Little did I know that someone else would like the shoe as well.

I was accompanying a friend to a shoe store one day and it was the day when I wore my U.R.S shoe. While waiting for my friend, I thought I’d try on a few pairs as well. So, I took my shoes off, put it aside and went on to try some shoes. Somewhere nearby, an Arab lady was also busy looking out for shoes. It wasn’t hard to notice her because she had like a billion shopping bags in her hands. Anyway, what really caught my attention was when she suddenly went on to try out my shoe. Yes, my shoe! I was so surprised that I didn’t know whether to laugh or to tell her off. She then carried on walking to the mirror and checked herself out with MY shoe! What I found bizarre was that a) my shoe does not at all look new, b) its not even placed on the shelves. I just chucked it on the floor.

So, why on earth would she want to try out that shoe??

Me: Excuse me, that’s my shoe you’re trying out
Arab lady: What? Oh sorry, sorry..I didn’t know
Me: Gave an irritated look. It’s ok
Arab lady: You have nice shoe
Me: I know
(smiled and walked off)

When you think about it, it’s actually kind of funny. Oh well, at least I know my 3-year old shoe still looks very much desirable :)

Friday, April 13, 2007

The 'X' dream

Last night I dreamt of my ex-boyfriend. No, didn’t desperately want to dream about him. It just happened. No, nothing hanky panky or anything like that. It was an ordinary dream and he was just in it.

I have no idea why he was in my dream. I haven’t seen him since we last broke up in 1997. We didn’t part in good terms. We have not kept in touch, most definitely not in talking terms and I am very sure that even after all these years, he still hates me. To be honest, if I did see him anywhere, I would avoid or pretend not to notice. Wouldn’t have a clue what to say. So, to avoid any embarrassment, might as well run away.

The dream felt really weird because he was actually talking to me! To me? Yes, me! Words actually came out from his mouth and it was directed to me. And to think I actually forgot how he sounds like! Somehow we attended the same event; he came up to me and started chatting away! He wanted to know whether we could be friends again. I just stood there and didn’t say a word. Felt too dumbstruck to even respond. Not because of the excitement of being friends again but still shocked that he wanted to talk to me!

I remembered waking up and thinking “Wow! Did that just happen?”. What a strange dream. It felt kind of creepy as well.

I was still thinking about it when I got to the office. I wondered if the dream meant anything so for the fun of it, I actually looked it up at one of the sites on dream analysis. I know the interpretation may not necessarily be correct but like I said, for fun-fun only maaaaaaaaaaaa……So anyway, check this out.

“To dream about your ex-boyfriend/girlfriend or ex-husband/wife or that you and your ex got back together again, suggests that something or someone in your current life that is bringing out similar feelings you felt during the relationship with your ex. The dream may be a way of alerting you to the same or similar behavior in a current relationship. What you learn from that previous relationship may need to be applied to the present one so that you do not repeat the same mistake. Alternatively, past lovers often highlight the positive experiences you had with that person.”

My response to this:

Thursday, April 12, 2007

A note to a friend

Dear friend,
There are no words to explain how much I am blessed to have you as a friend. We haven’t known each other that long but it feels like I’ve known you forever. From day one we were introduced to each other, we just instantly clicked. I think that’s really great because normally it would take me a while to get close to another person. The fact that we had the same wavelength made the friendship much easier.

You have a way with words which I really admire. When I’m upset or down, your words of encouragement always brings me back up again. You know how I love to laugh, so you come up with jokes/remarks that would make me laugh my head off.

It’s easy to talk to someone when you know the other person really listens. They don’t judge you. They don’t necessarily have to quickly offer solutions. They are there to lend us their ears. That’s what I see in you. You let me ramble on and on and at the end of the day you always know how to make me smile again.

Thank you so much for your friendship. Good friends are hard to find so I hope ours will last forever.

Take care my friend. I wish you all the happiness in the world :)

Monday, April 9, 2007

Shopping spree

I picked up a bad habit.

I don’t know how it started or why on earth I did it.

I have never been the type and it puzzles me why I chose to do it.

The habit started a couple of months ago and I’ve only actually realized it when I got my credit card bill the other day.

Now what do you think the bad habit is? Well, the entry title and picture above is a major hint already la :). If you guessed shopping, you’re right but this is not just any ordinary shopping. It’s more of the ‘when i’m upset, I wanna buy things to calm myself’ kind of shopping.

Oh yes..I was in a bit of stress lately. A typical behaviour when I’m sad, hurt or upset at something or someone, is to hide in one corner and cry myself out. But lately, I find myself wanting to buy things just so that I can feel good about myself.

I’m not much of a credit card user. I try to limit my spending and usually, if I want to buy something, I’ll pay in cash. I will only use my card when it’s really, really necessary. And when I do use my card, I will always, always pay in full. I like to settle any dues immediately.

So one morning a few days ago, I was in total panic when I got my credit card statement. Adding up the amount spent for 2 credit card statements came to about RM4000. What the hell did I spend on in one month? And we’re not talking one or two major items here.

Looking back at what I did, I then remembered it was the time when I was really stressed out. I was upset and sad with some people’s behaviour and thought spending on things would make the feeling go away. I should have known better, right? Silly me. So anyway, apart from the normal monthly payment for items (phone bill, insurance etc), I bought myself a handbag, a few work clothes, an I-Pod Nano, a handphone and gifts for some friends. I wasn’t bothered to take out cash and happily used my credit cards when I didn’t have enough cash with me.

I guess I was in some kind of trance and didn’t realize what I was doing. That credit card bill brought me back to reality. I was in shock for a few hours and quickly went on to sort out my finances.

I have paid off everything which means I have to work extra hard to limit my spending for the next few months. Thank God I learnt my lesson much sooner. Thank God it was still under control.

Money is a bit tight as compared to what I’m used to but at least I don’t owe anyone anything.

Thursday, April 5, 2007


I was passing by Big Boss’s room this morning and suddenly heard “Ahh..*Trueblue*, you came at the right moment. I want to talk to you”.

And there I was thinking “Oh no..What could he possibly want to talk to me about?”. I went in and he asked me to close the door. Oh-oh. Not good news, I felt.

I did mention in my previous entry (in the other blog) about certain movements happening around the office and that I was offered a new position. I found out the latest info last week (they want to delay it) and asked for some clarification. After some ding dong here and there, there was an attempt to rectify the matter but apparently it was too late.

I guess Big Boss was confused with my concern and wanted to explain the matter from the management point of view. Somehow, whatever he said just didn't make sense.

Frankly speaking, I really don’t care anymore and whatever the management wants me to do, I’ll just do it. There could be risks in the long run, but I guess I’ve come to a point where it doesn’t matter anymore.

He spent the whole 15 minutes complementing me on my work, telling me I had so much potential and that I’ve got a whole lot to offer (pep talk to make me feel good la ni). He gave me advice that I should try not to associate myself with people/environment that gives out negative vibes. I need to just focus on positive things as it would help me achieve more and become a successful person. Blah..Blah..Blah..

Ok, his advice makes sense. BUT, with all the drama that’s been going on for the past 2 years in this office, I just can’t seem to be easily influenced with what he says. I’m even questioning the compliments he gave. Can believe or not?? Told my manager and we actually laughed about it.

Oh well, life goes on. I am after all just a ‘gundu’ in this office.


Not quite a happy story to share to start off the new blog, huh?


Hey, Hey, Hey..Check it out :)

Hello everyone!

Yes, finally my own blog. :)

I have no clue what to write today but do check out my later posts ya?!!