Tuesday, September 16, 2008

My precious moment with D* (2)

Lately, D* has been asking me a lot about babies.

She told me this the other day…

D*: “Mama, mama makanlah banyak-banyak. Nanti perut mama dah besar, boleh ada baby!”. ("Mama, you should eat a lot. When your tummy is all big, you'll have a baby!")

Hahahaha....if only it were that simple to have babies.

God, I’m not ready yet to have a conversation with her about the birds and the bees. When is the right time to have that conversation anyway? I never had that conversation with my mom. I had to learn about it through friends and I remember getting shocked when I first heard what sex is all about. :)

But seriously guys, when is the right time to have that talk with the kids? And how detail should we go? I’m sure there’s a standard script somewhere........


ruby ahmad said...

Hi Trueblue,

Gosh! Theer is no one formula fits all. There is that unique relationship one has with one's kid, so you have to use your own judgment.

But at least for now get a few books on such a topic. You will then get a feel what's best & how best to explain when your child do ask finally. My thoughts.

Gagak Merah said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Dade Ghost said...


Start getting real close with her la... then u will know when the time is right. Grow up with her, watch her grow, understand her, listen to her....

Sometimes, best not to tell, depends on your daughter....

Selamat Hari Raya wei...

katakbesar said...

celamat hari raya
maaf zahir batin


maszuzu said...

hmmm...tough one ehh.. i'm not the best person to answer..hahaha..anak pun takder...

PrettyGirlWardrobe said...


check out my online boutique... ;p


gravtkills said...

tell D...perut I dah besar tapi baby tak sampai2 lagi

J.T. said...

I have absolutely no experience with this (passing on information to the younger generation).
All I remember is when I first got my info. It was from a teacher who decided to ditch history lessons that day and told us (a classroom of girls) the facts of life. We were 10. She said that she realised some parents will not teach us and we will learn bits and pieces of it eventually through books and so she has decided to give the real facts. I forgot her name but I was so grateful for that early information. :)

J.T. said...

That said, I agree with Ruby - there is no one formula that fits all.

aston said...

The issue of vernacular primary schools has little to do with national integration. The medium of instruction doesn't matter. The biggest issue of vernacular primary schools is simply that the quality clearly points to the failure of Umno-led BN government, the legitimacy of the very philosophies and policies particularly its hegemonistic malay agenda.

If the vernacular primary schools are allowed to expand, clearly the percentage of malays in these Chinese primary schools would expand striking at the heart of the malay agenda. It would increase integration but not the malay agenda.

There is no proof that different medium of instruction decrease national unity. What would decrease national integration would be if they thought different philosophy - and for example - religion based schools. Even military schools have been shown to breed disintegration of its students from the larger population.

The idea of teaching Mandarin and Tamil to attract non-malays to national schools is a non-starter. Firstly, again the medium of instruction is a low low issue compared to the quality of education, secondly, there is already a severe shortage of Mandarin and Tamil teachers that national schools would never be able to do even a half-past-six job of it.

Thirdly, so long as Islamization of national schools is not stopped in its tracks, non-malays would always avoid it, simply because learning is just harder in a marginalized uncomfortable environment.

Vernacular schools are allowed to continue as it is simply because removing it would be perceived and rightly so, as eroding the citizen rights of non-malays, i.e. the very right of education - the only upward mobility tool the non-malays has. Non-malays second class citizenship will become third class with things like further Islamization of this country.

The issue of vernacular schools is not about national integration, it is about hegemonistic malay agenda. The fact it is an issue points to heart of our national problem.

ruyom said...

My school in the 50s and 60s when terms like bumis and non-bumis did not exist.

Back then, there was a kind of kindred among school children then that does not exist today. We were racially different but we were all equal in every other way. Nobody was - special.

Today when a non-malay student goes to school, he has already been told over and over again by his parents that, "You will have to do superlatively in order to get into a local university."

The child comes back having done creditably well, and doesn't get the university course of his choice. But his malay classmate, with worse marks than him, gets more than he asked for.

All these double standards and retrogressive policies were put in place by our selfish politicians whose aim, rather than uplifting the malays, was to perpetually stay in power for their own good.

The end result is a new generation of Malaysians who are not united in the least.

The first thing to be done towards a real Bangsa Malaysia is to pull down all divisions that categorise us along racial and religious lines.

All, irrespective of race and religion, must be subjected to a truly merit based system in every sphere of Malaysian life.

All political parties that exploit any form of religion should be banned.

jodie said...

I just wish to sort out whether English medium schools will guarantee the success of Malaysia.

According to the somebody, the '"killing off of English medium schools" laid the foundation for the current deteriorating racial relations. I find this point of view very naive, superficial and unconvincing. Do people discriminate and hate against other races simply because they don't speak the same language?

Ethnic French, German and Italians speak their own languages in Switzerland with three official languages but has anyone heard of racial riots in Switzerland? I suppose the current deteriorating racial relations here is due to the institutionalised racism and racial inequality rather than the language people speak.

Does a good English proficiency guarantee employment upon graduation? Is the English proficiency of our graduates being over-emphasised with regards to the unemployment problem?

Malaysia and Philippines general populations have a better English proficiency than Korea and Taiwan, but the former two can in no way compete (whether in competitiveness, GDP or technology) with the two newly industrialised countries although we actually started better off than them after our independence.

Korea and Taiwan never had English medium schools and yet their high school students always top the list for the world mathematics and physics Olympiad.

The success of Hong Kong and Singapore as regional financial and trade hubs rests entirely on their competitive business environment, good governance and highly efficient administration. English is just an added advantage, not the sole sufficient condition for their success.

The so-called globalised world is always misunderstood in that everything has to be in English in order to succeed. Again, I find that naive, simple-minded and superficial. Globalisation demands for a broader worldview, critical thought and understanding of more cultures and languages rather than a monotonic all English mantra.

Shortsighted policies such as not having vernacular schools will eventually kill off Malaysia rich diversity of culture that is supposed to be a strong advantage amid the rise of China and India as the world cultural and economic superpowers.

If one ever notices, upon gaining power after independence, elites of Third World Countries (including Malaysia) trained by the colonial education system usually tend to look to their former colonial masters, rather than global models as their reference in running a country.

Summing up my point of view, thinking that English medium schools will solve all our problems and help us succeed is simply too naive and simple minded.

killer said...

Mahathir is a real cunning Satan. He simply can manipulate history as if that there were uneasiness on economic shares. And he can shut Tunku real story about May 13. I wonder how stupid all historians, policemen and reporters to tell about May 13 histories. It is all fake history.

The truth is the incident has been plan by Mahathir. Dato Harun was the mastermind for malay riot. It was a conspiracy to topple down Tunku.

Meanwhile Tunku was a Britain prone PM. Therefore Tunku was kicked out from PM post by Mahathir.

romsam said...

Many malays don't like to admit it, but once upon a time, they were not Muslims like everyone else!

Malays were part of the migration of Polynesian peoples whose original home was Yunnan in China to South East Asia in what is known as Philippines, Indonesia, Malaysia……….

At that time the Orang Asli were already well settled in the malay Peninsula, so that makes them the most legitimate of the bumis.

Malays were animists then for hundreds of years until Indians crossed Bay of Bengal to South East Asia and spread Indian and Hindu culture to the peoples there.

Hence we had the great Hindu kingdoms which later also became Buddhist kingdoms of Langkasuka, Srivijaya, Majapahit - but main thing to note is that racially the peoples were malays and speak old malay language.

Islam only came to South East Asia from 1400 after foundation of Malacca by Parameswara. Again from India crossed Bay of Bengal and spread Islam to South East Asia. Malacca sultans were among the first converts and the rest is history.

Please note that the malays have been Muslims for only 600 years and have been Hindus/Buddhists very much longer - at least 2000 years. Malay culture is very much influenced by Hindu culture including Sanskrit words like the wayang kulit, raja, maharaja, etc.

Unlike Javanese, who are proud of their Hindu/Buddhist past reflected in great empires like Srivijaya and Majapahit, malays are generally ashamed to dwell on their pre Islamic Hindu/Buddhist past.

On the contrary some malays try to be like the Arab wannabes, trying to cleanse the malays of their Hindu/Buddhist past - in this even the songs and films of P Ramlee become victimized!

If Islam had not come to South East Asia, malays would still be Hindus/Buddhists like the Balinese which is not a bad idea, as Balinese are considered very peaceful people.

yuking said...

To get ahead in the world today, China has taken steps to encourage its citizens to master English and the Chinese are taking it like fish to water. Likewise, the Americans have no choice but to master Mandarin.

Bill Gates and Steven Jobs have already said that the first wave of the Internet language is almost over, i.e. English. It is time to prepare for the second wave, Mandarin.

And what do we have here? Still hanging on to the notion that Bahasa Melayu is the lingua franca of the world even as events are unfolding before their very eyes that thousands upon thousands of graduates could not get employed because of their inability to grasp the English language.

Where is the pragmatism for change? Even the hardcore communists like the Chinese have to finally gave in, swallow their pride and do what is best for the nation. Today, they call the shots and America has to kowtow to them. China does not need a military adventure but an economic one will do just fine. From the looks of it, our people here will never go for a change. The mathematics and science in English is nothing more than a cosmetic change.

It is a funny world we live in. The Americans and British are falling over each other to master Mandarin, and the Chinese are learning English at a rapid pace. And here what are we doing? Learning our Bahasa Melayu. Good luck Malaysians. Won't be long we will all be left behind.

Our politicians think there is something to gain from making racial and religious statements at the great expense of Malaysia and its ordinary people.

Sadly, they are right and have been very successful to achieve their narrow, personal and selfish aims. Enormous damage has been done to the social cohesion and development and progress of the country. It is so sorry to see them lagging further and further behind as a result of their inferiority complex. It is more sorry to see that they can trade the future of this country with their inferiority complex.

What is their definition of integrity? What is morality? What is patriotism? What is……….

Generations have been brought up with this totally unacceptable and unhealthy environment. It would take generations to heal and resolve this damage.

This bumi/non-bumi dichotomy is a well-entrenched policy which is here to stay for a long long time and eventually lead the country to ruin.

Face it, the easy part of it can be done is removing the legal discrimination, the damage is so overdone now, it may take forever to change the cultural discrimination that has been infused.

Having said that, money has to be spent on education. Only with world-class education and grasp of the global world can we have better ties with other countries. This will invariably lead to a robust knowledge based economy and more business opportunities.

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