Thursday, September 13, 2007

*Phew*


Yep. That’s what I feel at this exact moment. Total relief. No, the assignment has not completely finish but at least the big chunk of it is over. As of 5.15pm yesterday, I finally completed the 2 papers that will be presented to the very, very, very big boss of this company.

This past one month or so has been really hectic. Hard to believe I actually survived through all those feeling of panic. Now I know what it means when people say “what doesn’t kill you can only make you stronger”.

I guess I just needed to talk about it. It helps..just to let it all out. It's not gonna solve the problem because I have to go through the situation anyway but at least I don’t have to keep the nervous feeling bottled up anymore. I didn’t realize how stressed I was until it came to a point when I was unable to control my fear and kept saying “Oh My God..Oh My God…Oh My God..”. I didn’t understand why my colleagues looked so relaxed when there were so many things to do.

When I reflect back to what happened, I think being in a new position and a new unit led to unnecessary pressure on myself as I wanted to prove to others that I can do it. I kept comparing myself to my senior colleagues, wanting to be at par or at least close to being at par to them. There was so much to learn and I kept pushing myself, wanting things to be perfect. I wanted to do a good job and was worried that I’d be disappointing my boss. I know now that all this takes time.

Big boss told me the other day that I put too much expectation on myself, tend to overly worry but in the end I always pull through. It’s funny how I never realized that.

I’m not out of the woods yet because there are still other assignments to do. Being somewhat of a perfectionist, I know I would still be overly worried about future assignments but at least now I’ve learned to take things easy. Come to think of it, being overly concerned has a plus point too as I know I will get things done. Anyway, an important note to remember is that when things start to get difficult, I just need to relax, take a deep breath and tell myself It’s gonna be ok”.


*To all my Muslim friends, hope you have a blessed Ramadhan*

13 comments:

J.T. said...

Yes, Trueblue... breathe and it will be OK. I tend to pressure myself too. I know I did a lot of it when I was working.

Anyway, here's wishing you a blessed Ramadhan.

Dade Ghost said...

Selamat berpuasa.

Yeah u better learn to relax... No point getting tension, which will lead to hyper tension .... and all the related disease...

I am beginning to talk too much... yeah u better learn to relax.

trueblue said...

Jacqui,
Thanks a lot. You take care..

Dade Ghost,
Hehehe..Yeah, I get what you mean. Thanks anyway..

Cik Puan Sri Quzz said...

Selamat Puasa to you and family. hope you have a blessed ramadhan.

glad u are ok..

akula said...

Now, thats really rasa berbaloi dengan duit gajikan?

Pak Zawi said...

Trueblue,
Such assignments wont be your first and your last either. More of such will come your way. The greatest satisfaction will be when your very very big boss congratulate you for a job well done. The job would have been easier done if you have good teamwork and a very understanding boss. Otherwise you may have to pay Zewt's http://zewt.blogspot.com for the antidote.
Selamat berpuasa.

winniethepooh said...

Having expectation of ourselves is good at time as long as they are realistic :) positive thinking always help too!

selamat berpuasa trueblue

Nour said...

Glad to you know you are ok and relaxing..hehehe:)

Like you,I too tend to expect too much and tend to worry so much too. When I learn is, just do your very best and tawakal.

Selamat Berpuasa.

trueblue said...

aphroditekuzz,
Thanks babe. I wish the same to you..

akula,
Hehe..I guess it does

trueblue said...

zawi,
Yeah, you're right. I wouldn't have completed the work if it were'nt for the help from the senior colleagues. My boss also helped a lot.

Thanks for dropping by. Will check out Zewt's blog soon..

winnie,
I guess I just need to relax more. And yes, a lot of positive thinking helps too!

Nour,
Glad to know someone else is like me. Maybe we can swap tips in the future on how not too worry too much. :)

gravtkills said...

selamat berbuka

Lee said...

Hi Trueblue, at times like this, have a cup of coffee, take a 15 minutes break, clear the mind, then restart.
Thanks for the visit.
You have a good ramadhan, UL.

katakbesar said...

no pain no gain
no guts no glory