The 'X' dream

Last night I dreamt of my ex-boyfriend. No, didn’t desperately want to dream about him. It just happened. No, nothing hanky panky or anything like that. It was an ordinary dream and he was just in it.

I have no idea why he was in my dream. I haven’t seen him since we last broke up in 1997. We didn’t part in good terms. We have not kept in touch, most definitely not in talking terms and I am very sure that even after all these years, he still hates me. To be honest, if I did see him anywhere, I would avoid or pretend not to notice. Wouldn’t have a clue what to say. So, to avoid any embarrassment, might as well run away.

The dream felt really weird because he was actually talking to me! To me? Yes, me! Words actually came out from his mouth and it was directed to me. And to think I actually forgot how he sounds like! Somehow we attended the same event; he came up to me and started chatting away! He wanted to know whether we could be friends again. I just stood there and didn’t say a word. Felt too dumbstruck to even respond. Not because of the excitement of being friends again but still shocked that he wanted to talk to me!

I remembered waking up and thinking “Wow! Did that just happen?”. What a strange dream. It felt kind of creepy as well.

I was still thinking about it when I got to the office. I wondered if the dream meant anything so for the fun of it, I actually looked it up at one of the sites on dream analysis. I know the interpretation may not necessarily be correct but like I said, for fun-fun only maaaaaaaaaaaa……So anyway, check this out.

“To dream about your ex-boyfriend/girlfriend or ex-husband/wife or that you and your ex got back together again, suggests that something or someone in your current life that is bringing out similar feelings you felt during the relationship with your ex. The dream may be a way of alerting you to the same or similar behavior in a current relationship. What you learn from that previous relationship may need to be applied to the present one so that you do not repeat the same mistake. Alternatively, past lovers often highlight the positive experiences you had with that person.”

My response to this:
Huh?

A note to a friend

Dear friend,
There are no words to explain how much I am blessed to have you as a friend. We haven’t known each other that long but it feels like I’ve known you forever. From day one we were introduced to each other, we just instantly clicked. I think that’s really great because normally it would take me a while to get close to another person. The fact that we had the same wavelength made the friendship much easier.

You have a way with words which I really admire. When I’m upset or down, your words of encouragement always brings me back up again. You know how I love to laugh, so you come up with jokes/remarks that would make me laugh my head off.

It’s easy to talk to someone when you know the other person really listens. They don’t judge you. They don’t necessarily have to quickly offer solutions. They are there to lend us their ears. That’s what I see in you. You let me ramble on and on and at the end of the day you always know how to make me smile again.

Thank you so much for your friendship. Good friends are hard to find so I hope ours will last forever.

Take care my friend. I wish you all the happiness in the world :)

Shopping spree

I picked up a bad habit.

I don’t know how it started or why on earth I did it.

I have never been the type and it puzzles me why I chose to do it.

The habit started a couple of months ago and I’ve only actually realized it when I got my credit card bill the other day.

Now what do you think the bad habit is? Well, the entry title and picture above is a major hint already la :). If you guessed shopping, you’re right but this is not just any ordinary shopping. It’s more of the ‘when i’m upset, I wanna buy things to calm myself’ kind of shopping.

Oh yes..I was in a bit of stress lately. A typical behaviour when I’m sad, hurt or upset at something or someone, is to hide in one corner and cry myself out. But lately, I find myself wanting to buy things just so that I can feel good about myself.

I’m not much of a credit card user. I try to limit my spending and usually, if I want to buy something, I’ll pay in cash. I will only use my card when it’s really, really necessary. And when I do use my card, I will always, always pay in full. I like to settle any dues immediately.

So one morning a few days ago, I was in total panic when I got my credit card statement. Adding up the amount spent for 2 credit card statements came to about RM4000. What the hell did I spend on in one month? And we’re not talking one or two major items here.

Looking back at what I did, I then remembered it was the time when I was really stressed out. I was upset and sad with some people’s behaviour and thought spending on things would make the feeling go away. I should have known better, right? Silly me. So anyway, apart from the normal monthly payment for items (phone bill, insurance etc), I bought myself a handbag, a few work clothes, an I-Pod Nano, a handphone and gifts for some friends. I wasn’t bothered to take out cash and happily used my credit cards when I didn’t have enough cash with me.

I guess I was in some kind of trance and didn’t realize what I was doing. That credit card bill brought me back to reality. I was in shock for a few hours and quickly went on to sort out my finances.

I have paid off everything which means I have to work extra hard to limit my spending for the next few months. Thank God I learnt my lesson much sooner. Thank God it was still under control.

Money is a bit tight as compared to what I’m used to but at least I don’t owe anyone anything.

Funny

I was passing by Big Boss’s room this morning and suddenly heard “Ahh..*Trueblue*, you came at the right moment. I want to talk to you”.

And there I was thinking “Oh no..What could he possibly want to talk to me about?”. I went in and he asked me to close the door. Oh-oh. Not good news, I felt.

I did mention in my previous entry (in the other blog) about certain movements happening around the office and that I was offered a new position. I found out the latest info last week (they want to delay it) and asked for some clarification. After some ding dong here and there, there was an attempt to rectify the matter but apparently it was too late.

I guess Big Boss was confused with my concern and wanted to explain the matter from the management point of view. Somehow, whatever he said just didn't make sense.

Frankly speaking, I really don’t care anymore and whatever the management wants me to do, I’ll just do it. There could be risks in the long run, but I guess I’ve come to a point where it doesn’t matter anymore.

He spent the whole 15 minutes complementing me on my work, telling me I had so much potential and that I’ve got a whole lot to offer (pep talk to make me feel good la ni). He gave me advice that I should try not to associate myself with people/environment that gives out negative vibes. I need to just focus on positive things as it would help me achieve more and become a successful person. Blah..Blah..Blah..

Ok, his advice makes sense. BUT, with all the drama that’s been going on for the past 2 years in this office, I just can’t seem to be easily influenced with what he says. I’m even questioning the compliments he gave. Can believe or not?? Told my manager and we actually laughed about it.

Oh well, life goes on. I am after all just a ‘gundu’ in this office.

Whatever…

Not quite a happy story to share to start off the new blog, huh?

Mine..Mine..Mine..!!!

Hey, Hey, Hey..Check it out :)

Hello everyone!

Yes, finally my own blog. :)

I have no clue what to write today but do check out my later posts ya?!!