Trueblue's Lifestories

My precious moment with D* (2)

2008-09-16T19:43:00.000-07:00

Lately, D* has been asking me a lot about babies.

She told me this the other day…

D*: “Mama, mama makanlah banyak-banyak. Nanti perut mama dah besar, boleh ada baby!”. ("Mama, you should eat a lot. When your tummy is all big, you'll have a baby!")

Hahahaha....if only it were that simple to have babies.

God, I’m not ready yet to have a conversation with her about the birds and the bees. When is the right time to have that conversation anyway? I never had that conversation with my mom. I had to learn about it through friends and I remember getting shocked when I first heard what sex is all about. :)

But seriously guys, when is the right time to have that talk with the kids? And how detail should we go? I’m sure there’s a standard script somewhere........

It's been a while...

2008-09-06T10:23:00.000-07:00

Gosh..has it been that long? 2 whole months of being away from the blogging world.

Yes, I have been busy and during the rare occasions when I’m not, I just don’t have the energy to write.

A few changes have happened to me lately. I’ve moved to a new unit, moved to a new cubicle and have a new boss. I initially wanted to move out totally from the department but the bosses wouldn’t let me. They gave me some stupid reason which didn’t make any sense at all. Until now, I’m still puzzled over the whole thing.

So since they didn’t let me leave, I asked to be moved to a different unit. Things have been pretty ok, so far. It was tough being the new person, having to learn and catch up fast. My new boss hasn’t given me his feedback but I hope I have not been a disappointment.

There’s a lot more to learn and all I can do right now is to just give my best. I never said I was great and it was never my plan or intention to outshine anyone. I’m just here to learn. That’s all.

We’ve completed 2 big events so far. I wouldn’t exactly call it a major success but it wasn’t a disaster either. Given the lack of resources in the unit now, I think we did just fine. In fact, I think we did quite well. There’s 9 more sessions to go and hopefully, things will still be ok for us.

"What to wear tomorrow?!"

2008-07-03T23:41:00.000-07:00

Hello.

Thought I’d drop by and share my sad and pathetic story.

Every night (well, almost every weekday night) I spend about 10 minutes staring at my wardrobe and ask myself the same question: “What the *toot* do I wear tomorrow?”

It’s starting to become a chore and I dread the time when I have to do it.

Oklah, don’t get me wrong. Of courselah I have clothes but it’s the same old boring clothes. Everytime I choose an outfit, I find myself asking “When was the last time I wore this?”, Don’t want it to be too recent, or else people might say “Takde baju lain ke si Trueblue ni?”. I don't mean to sound vain but seriously, I am bored with what I have. Its' not just the collection but also the style.

When I was browsing through my clothes last night, it struck me how ‘tak fashionable-nya’ I am. Glamour and trendy are the last two things people can say about me. I am really just a simple person. It's not that I don’t want to look hip and happening, I just don’t know how. Maybe I should seek help from a fashion consultant or someone who can advise me on the clothes that would look good on me. I don’t want to wear something sexy but more of wanting to look a bit bergaya-lah. And by bergaya, I don’t mean expensive.

My hubby gets annoyed when he catches me staring at my cupboard. His suggestion is that I tag my clothes to each day of the working week. In that way, I will know what to wear on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and so on. But assigning the clothes to a particular day wouldn’t really work because there would be times when I’m not in the mood to wear that particular attire. So I end up staring again.

Gosh! It’s hard being a woman…the pressure of having to look good all the time.

I know, I know. Not knowing what to wear is not exactly a national crisis. I can still survive :).

I guess I just need to update my wardrobe and learn to mix and match things.

Shopping time, people……..

ATTENTION ALL READERS (yeah, thats probably just me alone)

2008-06-11T14:47:00.001-07:00

Who am I kidding?

I've obviously run out of ideas or too busy or sometimes just can't be bothered to blog nowadays.

I think I should stop blogging for a while or who knows, forever.

Not that anyone cares pun anyway kan.

So too-re-loo for now.

*Trueblue temporarily signing off*

Trueblue's rumbling tummy weekend

2008-06-01T05:17:00.000-07:00

1.
I was planning to spend quality time with D* this weekend. I wanted to pamper her and pretty much do anything that she wanted.

But oh no...Instead, I spent 'quality' time in the toilet. Yes, there was another attack of diarrhea yesterday. I had nasi lemak for breakfast and I remember telling myself a few times how damn good that nasi lemak was. I rarely eat nasi lemak (because of the 'jaga badan' thingy) so having it yesterday, felt like heaven. I don't know if I got the food poisoining from the nasi lemak but a few hours after having breakfast, I just felt like throwing up. My tummy went into a roller coaster ride and I guess the rest is history.

I couldn't get much sleep last night because half of the time was spent in the toilet. Now thats what I call 'quality' time. My poor stomach. Poor me :(

2.
The project came to an end last Friday. I'm happy because I don't have to see that damn Project Manager again but rather sad because I have to part with the team members. We've become close the last 4 months and I'm gonna miss the bond and closeness we had. I couldn't have asked for a better bunch of team mates. We went through the good and bad (especially the bad!) times together and whatever crappy things the PM did to us, only made us much closer.

The PM asked for a close-out lunch last Thursday, apparently to say thank you for our contribution to the project. Hmmmmppphhh..some lunch that was. They arranged for a long table and we sat on one side while the Consultants and him sat on the other side. We didn't even talk together as a group. The team mates and I had our own conversation. And please don't expect a Thank You speech. We pretty much ate and left after that. So much for saying thank you. Come to think of it, not once...yes, NOT ONCE during those 4 months did he ever say thank you to us. *sheesh* What a jerk!

I'll be back at my old department next week. *groan*. As much as I wanted the project to end, I'm not exactly that eager to go back too. Oh well, its not that I have a choice. I have to go back somewhere......

3.
My tummy is making some awful sounds. Need to go back to bed and rest now. Enjoy the rest of your weekend. I certainly won't be having much fun.

A year older...

2008-05-10T10:05:00.000-07:00

...but not necessarily a year wiser :)

Its my birthday today.

God..I feel soooo old.

Thanks to all who sent me birthday wishes. I appreciate it very much.

The bashing session

2008-05-01T21:40:00.000-07:00

Being scolded like a 2 year old by the Project Manager wasn’t a wonderful feeling.

I’ve been working for nearly 10 years now and this is the first time I’ve been in that situation. Thank God it wasn’t just me alone.

My colleague and I had to endure the painful moment for about half an hour and that half an hour felt like half a day. I was shocked and got really scared when he started screaming at my colleague. I can still picture his face. I think his eyeballs nearly popped out.

He was upset because we gave him some advice about his role as a Project Manager. Well, I guess the truth hurts, huh? He went on to nag and nag and nag. There were many irritating things that he said but I just don’t have the energy to type it all here. I really wanted to say something back but there was really no point. Let him say what he wants. So my colleague and I just sat there in his room and waited for him to stop babbling.

He expects some respect from the team but seriously, respect has to be earned.

The team exchanged stories after that and all of us concluded one thing:
He’s mentally unstable….

I just can’t wait till this project is over.

My precious moment with D*

2008-04-25T08:22:00.000-07:00

D* and I had a conversation the other day...

Me: D* dah besar nanti nak kerja kat mana?

D*: D* nak kerja kat ofis macam Mama

Me: Oh ye ke...? Mama kat ofis kerja apa?

D*: Mama kat ofis kan, Mama bukak komputer...lepas tu Mama tekan-tekan..

I just burst out laughing.

Oh well..can't really blame her. I guess that's all she sees when I bring home my laptop and do my work.

If only she knew how much more brain effort is required apart from just the 'tekan-tekan'.

Hard to say goodbye...

2008-04-24T09:50:00.000-07:00

I can’t imagine losing my other half.
When I heard Mariah Carey’s new song ‘Bye-Bye’, it just made me feel so sad. The pain, the sadness…it scares the hell out of me.

It’s a sweet song. A tribute to someone we love….

Bye-Bye
This is for my people who just lost somebody
Your best friend, your baby, your man, or your lady
Put your hand way up high
We won’t ever say bye (no no no)

Mamas, daddies, sisters, brothers, friends, and cousins
This is for my people who lost their grandmothers
Lift your head to the sky
Cause we won’t ever say bye

As a child, there were them times
I didn’t get it, but you kept me alive
I didn’t know why you didn’t show up sometimes
On Sunday mornings
But I’m glad we talked through
All them grown full things separation brings
You never let me know it, you never let it show
Because you loved me, and obviously
There’s so much more left to say
If you were with me today, face to face

Never knew I could hurt like this
And everyday life goes on I
Wish I could talk to you for awhile
Miss you but I try not to cry
As time goes by
And its true that you’ve reached a better place
Still, I’d give the world to see your face
And be back here next to you
But it’s like you’ve gone too soon
Now the hardest thing to do
Is say bye bye

And you never got a chance to see how good I’ve done
And you never got to see me back at number one
I wish that you were here to celebrate together
I wish that we could spend the holidays together
I remember when you used to tuck me in at night
With the teddy bear you gave me that I held so tight
I thought you were so strong
You’d make it through whatever
It’s so hard to accept the fact you’re gone forever

Chaos at work

2008-04-17T13:15:00.000-07:00

I have been attached to this project since last February and from then on, things have been a bit chaotic. To be honest, I really didn’t want to join the project in the first place. Didn’t feel I was the right person to go. I still don’t know why the bosses chose me (I still want to think it was because there were not many people left to choose from). I did try to reason with the boss but what to do… if the boss says go, we have to go.

Anyway, I did mention things have been chaotic, right? The project started way back in April last year. We were brought in to help out in the Implementation phase. Let me tell you, it is REALLY TOUGH to implement something when the earlier team didn’t do a good job during the Business Review phase. Syndication wasn’t done properly; they proposed something without checking with the appropriate department, we didn’t get enough buy-in and since everything was done at a high level, people didn’t really understand what was going on.

It also doesn’t help when the Project Manager is being difficult. All he does is sit in his room, doing God knows what. He only comes to see us when he wants to review things. It pisses him off when we start questioning things and thinks we are against the whole idea. We are not against the project and understand its intent but the reason we are questioning is because we want clarity on certain things. We were not there during the review phase so isn’t it logical that we are going to ask questions? Please make us understand so that it is easy for us to sell the idea to the stakeholders. He doesn’t attend some of the key meetings we have with the stakeholders; he’s not there with us in our team discussions, so of course he wouldn’t understand the difficulty we go through. The stakeholders have raised some concerns and we perfectly understand what they mean because it makes sense. When we tell him (Project Manager) about it, he doesn’t seem to care. He makes us feel like we are a bunch of idiots and it looks like we just have to do what we are told. It’s driving us crazy!! I’ve been involved with a number of projects since I started working and this is my first encounter with a Project Manager who doesn’t seem to have a clue of what to do.

Things have been so intense and my mind has been so pre-occupied with the mess at work that I don’t even have time to feel sorry about myself. I felt so down during the first few weeks of the project, questioning my ability and all. Sometimes I do get the same feeling but I try to ignore it by making myself busy. What else can I do? I’m just going to contribute and perform to the best of my ability. Whether people recognize it or not, is another story.

Oh by the way, I also just realized that I’ve been using the same handbag for the past 3 weeks!! Talk about being so engrossed with work….Nak tukar handbag pun terlupa :)

Tensionnya.......!!

2008-04-07T11:50:00.000-07:00

It really is frustrating and annoying when you send your car for a wash and 10 minutes later, it starts to rain!!

Arghhhh...there goes my RM12.

Word of Day...

2008-04-02T11:54:00.000-07:00

Yeah..
My word of the day or perhaps the next few days would be..

"WHATEVER"

So how?

2008-03-24T15:57:00.000-07:00

I don’t know how else to explain it.

I know what I am. I know what I can and cannot do. I know my ability. I know what I can offer.

So I cannot see what they see.

I don’t know if this is about self confidence but what else can I say? I’m just trying to explain how blatantly obvious things are in the office. Come on, let’s be honest here.

Do you have any idea how terrified I have been feeling? I can’t help but to compare myself with the best. Boy, do I have a loooooooong way to go….

I do things within my own limits. It can’t get any better than that.

I am very aware of my capacity. So let’s not go overboard.

Don’t get me wrong. I appreciate compliments but at some certain level, we need to remain realistic.

There have been differing views anyway. So you can't actually expect me to believe the whole thing.

21 subjects? eeeekk

2008-03-13T13:00:00.000-07:00

Are kids nowadays getting smarter or the examination standard getting much lower?

20 1As and 1 2A?

Gosh...I could barely make it through 8 subjects during my SPM days!! Well, I didn't do that bad but I didn't get straight As either!

I can't imagine myself taking 21 subjects. I think I'll go bonkers. I don't think I would have a life.

Some people are just plain smart. They just concentrate in class, do a bit of homework and they're there. Me? I really, really have to work hard if I want to score.

So I guess taking 21 subjects is really out of the question for me.

Congratulations to adik Azali Azlan who was announced as the Best SPM (2007) student in Malaysia. Hats off to you!

Note: Do we go for quality of subjects taken or quantity now?

Duty calls...

2008-03-06T12:32:00.000-08:00

Marilah mari....

Pergi mengundi..

Jangan lupa kewajipan..pada negara..

lalalalalaaa....

Are you guys ready to do some voting?

It'll be interesting to see the commotion this Saturday.

Trueblue feeling blue-Part 2

2008-02-29T13:33:00.000-08:00

No. I did not get well.

Another week of pain and suffering.

I forgot to mention in my previous entry that apart from all the sore throat and coughing, I was also suffering from diarrhea. It wasn't that major so I chose to ignore it. I was hoping it would go away by itself. But after 4 days and I still had tummy aches, I thought I'd better get it checked out. The Dr gave me some pills for the tummy and antibiotics.

However, in the next few days I was still in pain and continued going to the toilet even after finishing the course of antibiotics. Something was not right.

I then started to get chills and fever on day 9 of the illness. I was shivering! Went back to the clinic and Dr suspected it was Salmonella food poisoning. I was given a new set of antibiotics and few days of MC to rest.

As of today I still have stomach cramps and I still feel weak. For the past 3 days, I lost my appetite to eat and with all the constant visits to the toilet, I have lost a bit of weight too. Good news on that but not exactly done in a good way.

There's too much work to be done. I'm worried that I'm letting other people down.

Pray that I'll get better soon.

Trueblue feeling blue

2008-02-19T17:15:00.000-08:00

I haven’t been feeling well since last week.

It initially began with having wisdom tooth pain. I wasn’t able to eat or sleep properly. I know the cure is to just take the damn teeth out but I’m too chicken to do it. I have been delaying for the past 10 years! For the past one week, I had to depend on pain killers. I feel better now but I know its not gonna be for long. The pain will definitely come back again. *groan*

Yesterday morning I had a sore throat and was coughing a bit. Took some strepsils and hoped I would be ok. Well, apparently not…

I had to attend an assessment that lasted about 2 hours that morning. After all the talking, I suddenly realized I lost my voice at the end of the session.

And today, I am still unable to get my voice back. The more I talk, the more ‘serak’ it gets. I always thought people with husky voices sound so sexy but when I listen to myself, I don’t think I’m any near to sounding sexy. I think I sound more like an old granny :(

Oh my poor throat. Perhaps I just need to shut up for a few days.

Update (as of 20/2/08):

My daughter, D* was shocked to hear my croaky voice last night.

D*: Kenapa mama takde suara?

Me: Mama sakit

D*: Ok. Mama wait here. D* go take doctor-doctor

She ran to her room, rummaged through her toy box and took out her doctor tool kit. She then ran back to me, took out one of the tools and asked me to open my mouth. She started doing some checking and kept on saying "hmmmm", "hmmmm". When the check up was done, she gave me a spoon and said "mama makan ubat".

When it was time for bed, she insisted to sleep with me because she wanted to take care of me.

"Mama, jangan talk so much. Mama must rest ok?"

I woke up this morning feeling much better. Thanks sweetheart. Thanks for the TLC.

The ShOcKiNg sms

2008-02-06T19:59:00.000-08:00

Do you guys pick up your phone when you see its an unknown number?

I personally don't. Why? Because it’s usually those marketing people who want to promote credit cards, hotel packages etc and I just can’t be bothered to get into that conversation. However, for some bizarre reason, I did pick up my phone when it rang last Saturday night, even though I knew I didn’t recognize the number. I guess I was in a good mood and thought perhaps it could be some long lost friend or something.

The so-called conversation that took place:
Me: Hello?
Stranger: Hello?
Me: Hello?
Stranger: Hello?
Me: Yes. Hello?
Stranger: Hello? (hung up)

I was already irritated by then. Who was this strange guy who kept saying hello and nothing else? That was 15 seconds of my life that I can’t get back. A few minutes later, I received an sms. It was from the same number. I was shocked and almost fell off my chair when I read the message:

“Nak s*nt*t you boleh tak?” (I don’t even want to try to translate this into English)

What kind of question is that? You can’t possibly ask that to strangers and expect them to answer ‘boleh’. Was he trying his luck? *Sheesh*

I was tempted to reply and give him a piece of my mind but then decided not to. I chose not to ‘layan’. I didn’t want to encourage him in case he might think that was a signal to further communicate. Besides, there was also a possibility that he had the wrong number or something.

After a few minutes, he called again. The same conversation of ‘Hello?’, ‘Hello?’, and ‘Hello?’ took place. He then hung up.

Some time later, he sent another sms and asked “ni sape?" (Who’s this?). This guy was really testing my patience. I still chose not to reply and thank God it stopped after that.

I just wonder where these weirdos come from. I shouldn’t have picked up my phone in the first place.

Note to self: Never, ever, ever pick up phone when it’s an unknown number. You never know what you might get!

Sigh

2008-02-01T11:27:00.000-08:00

"Sometimes we search too hard for answers that is right in front of us..."

Its one of those times when I feel life at work is really crappy.

I so want to quit but don't think thats the best option right now.

*Patience Trueblue, patience...*

p/s: Happy KL, Putrajaya & Labuan Day

Ideas, Ideas....where have you been?

2008-01-15T19:42:00.000-08:00

I think I have lost my ability to write.

Is it that or maybe I’ve just run out of ideas?

Ok, before you guys get shocked and question “Trueblue writes?”, what I meant was sharing my stories in this blog (with the limited writing skills that I have) and not so much writing like great writers/authors/storytellers out there. Get it?

I haven’t been updating my blog as much as I want to. Sometimes, I have stories to share but no time to write it. There are times when I have time to write but get stuck in how to tell the story (in an interesting way that is). There are also times when I have no idea what to write. Zilch. Zero. Some people have the gift or the talent. They just simply write what comes to their mind. My time has been full of activities lately that I don’t even have time to read other people’s blog.

I miss blogging. I miss the excitement and that eager feeling I used to have when after posting an entry, I’ll start to plan what to story to share next.

I could blame Facebook for this. I admit that my attention has been diverted to that. Not to say that I’m addicted to Facebook but in terms of updating my whereabouts etc, doing it through Facebook is so much easier. You just click on applications, invite friends, send a few gifts, do a bit of poking, leave a message or two and wallllah, you’re good to go. You don’t get bogged down with trying to come up with a good story, structure sentences, etc.

Oh well, I guess it's not the end of the world. It's not like you guys care anyway, right? So what if Trueblue’s been quiet for a while. Surely, there are other much more interesting blogs to read.

Before you guys yawn and say "so what, Trueblue?" , I think its best that I bid farewell for now.

Till my next entry…whenever that will be.

Cheerio and have a good day.

Don't be so tactless-lah....

2008-01-08T22:23:00.000-08:00

I don’t understand why some people do this.

Haven’t they heard of sayings like “if you don’t have anything nice to say, better not say anything at all” or “some things are better left unsaid”?

Two things (amongst a few others) that I would never tell anyone:
1. Gosh, you look fatlah. Have you put on weight?
2. Oh my, that’s a big pimple you have on your face!

AND….I especially would not tell this to people I hardly know or rarely meet. Got no better topic to talk about, is it?

Come on la…the person is probably already uncomfortable/embarrassed with the situation/appearance, do you really need to rub it in? Do you actually have to make it so obvious?

It really doesn’t take much effort to be a bit more sensitive.

blinkblink*

2008-01-03T09:20:00.000-08:00

Has 2 weeks passed by already??!! Unbelievable...

Why does time fly by so fast when we're having fun? Sob..sob..

Today is my first day at work. There are no words to explain how lazy I feel. Wish I was back in bed. :)

How was your new year?

Happy holidays...

2007-12-21T05:40:00.000-08:00

Today is Day 7 of my long break. What can I say..its been great and not so great at the same time. Its a relief to be away from the office but kind of boring coz I haven't been doing much and spent most of the time at home. BUT, whatever it is I'd rather be bored to death at home than be at the office. Anywhere but the office, man.....Why do holidays have to pass by so fast? I'm already dreading the first day back at the office (and I've still got about 13 days left of my long break!).

Next week I'll be off to Bandung with my family. Yeah! Can't wait for that...If you guys have been there, please let me know the good places to visit.

I had a haircut the other day. It felt really glamorous as I left the hair saloon but now after a few days and a few washes, it looks kind of blah. I wish I had a personal hairstylist so that my hair can look great all the time :)

In case I don't have time to blog again, I just want to wish you guys a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year....Do enjoy the holidays and get as much rest as you can.

Take care now!

Watcha doin', girl?!

2007-12-12T21:42:00.000-08:00

I went to Dunkin’ Donuts this morning to get some breakfast. Since it takes a few minutes to make my sandwich, I waited at the seating area and placed my wallet, phone and company pass card on the table. An Indonesian family then came into the shop and went straight to the table beside me.

The daughter (probably about 9 or 10) stopped in front of my table and was staring at my pass. I was puzzled to why she did that. I didn’t say anything and continued to observe her behavior. Suddenly I heard her say my name a few times as if wanting to memorise it. She then went to her table and wrote my name on her palm.

Weird kid. I wonder why she did that. She wasn’t ashamed to do it so openly. She also didn't care that I was looking at her. She probably didn't even realise it.

And I don’t know why I didn’t bother to ask. My sandwich was ready by then so I just took it and left.

I hope she’s not gonna do anything crazy with my name.

Hello, people?!

2007-12-07T04:41:00.000-08:00

Seriously, is it so hard to understand?

The signage CLEARLY states "10 items or less per trolley/basket". Not 15, not 20, not 30 but 10!! And you can even go less than that too! *sheesh* How much clearer can one get?

Please don't assume everyone is just gonna be nice and give in to you. Please don't be selfish and think you own the store which in other words mean you can do what you want.

And when someone politely reminds you that you are queueing in the wrong lane, please don't just ignore them and act as if they didn't exist. Please don't scold them as if they are some little child.

They made that special lane for a reason, you know? So what if the other normal lanes have long queues. Too bad...If you hate queueing, then choose non-peak hours to shop! If other people can queue, why can't you?

Sorry if this entry sounds harsh but I think I have reached my boiling point. Once, twice or even maybe thrice is ok but after being told off by people like you for 6 times; well,I think I have a right to be pissed. I guess its just my bad luck for always getting into these type of situation.

I thought I was doing a good thing by helping those other poor shoppers who didn't have the guts to let you know. Perhaps, I shouldn't just bother. *Trueblue stomping off*

Trueblue's bad luck

2007-11-26T22:50:00.000-08:00

Oh My God!! I couldn’t believe it. It happened for the second time!!!! I FELL today. Yes, again!!! This time it was at KLCC. I was walking while sms-ing when suddenly *gedebush*, I fell. It was so sudden; I didn’t even realize I was already on the floor. My first thought was “What the hell?? Not again???!!!”. I was kind of stunned for a few seconds and felt so angry with myself for being so clumsy. I had to take a moment to compose myself and once ready I took a deep breath and stood back up again. A security guard was running towards me and asked if I was ok. I just smiled and told him I was fine and quickly walked off. I didn’t dare to look around and prayed hard that no one I knew saw the embarrassing scene. Urrghhh!!! I am such an idiot. It must be those damn shoes. Evil..evil shoes. I shall chuck them away..To make matters worst, now my left arm hurts. That’s it…I am an idiot. *Trueblue bangs her head on the wall*

While we’re on this topic of bad luck, let me just share with you another bad luck incident that happened this morning. Since I live in an apartment; I have to take the lift to go down to the parking lot. There usually isn't any unusual events in the morning but today something different happened. As I entered the lift I immediately smelt something strange and disgusting. Someone must have farted just before he/she went out the door lift. I guess the ‘gas’ stayed behind when the doors closed. Of course it was very ‘fortunate’ of me to be the next one to enter. I had to hold my breath because the smell was so UNBEARABLE. I tell you people, it was the longest 10 seconds of my life!!! I quickly ran out the moment the door lift opened and said to myself: Must-have-fresh-air…!! That was nasty…I nearly choked to death :)

Don’t you just hate it when these things happen? It totally spoiled my mood in the morning.

The only good moment of the day was when a colleague gave me some chocolates she bought from her trip to USA. I know I can always count on chocolates as a source of comfort.

Hope tomorrow will be a better day. Wish me luck! :)

Ola Everybody!!

2007-11-24T12:50:00.000-08:00

Gosh…It's been ages since I last went into this blog. 3 weeks seems like 3 months!! :)

The 2 weeks course was tiring. We had classes in the weekends and even on a public holiday (Deepavali). There were days when we had classes and group discussions at night. We had tests too!! Now that was a tough one....The last time I did any tests was during University days so having to do it at the end of each module was stressful!!! I realised too that at this age, I don't think I can ever go back to school again (doing Masters, MBA, etc). It's such a challenge having to balance work, studies and family. Anyway, even though the course has ended, we’re not out of the woods yet because we have to submit a project paper in the next 7 weeks. Argghhhhh!!!

I was back at work on Tuesday and for some strange reason, I felt clueless. After being away from the office for so long, I kind of have forgotten what I was supposed to do. Panic started to creep in as a colleague briefed me on the long list of things to do. Die la like this…I have to get back on the saddle again and keep myself busy. *Groan*

Oh well..at least there will be one thing that will keep me sane and definitely something that I will look forward to: My 2 weeks leave at the end of the year. Yippppeeeee!!!!

It's good to be back. I miss you guys!!!

P/S: My left wrist still hurts :(

Trueblue + training + owwwwwwwwwww....

2007-11-01T15:15:00.000-07:00

Just got back from a 3-day course at one of the hotels here in KL. Good food? Yes. Good training? Yes...but whether or not we apply the knowledge back at work is another story. Still too early to tell if there's going to be any changes in the office.

Anyway, one interesting (or is it funny?) story to tell you is that I fell on the third day of the training. No joke, I actually fell during lunch break. We were walking towards the surau (prayer room) and as I was admiring the paintings on the wall, I suddenly slipped and *gedebush*, fell to the floor. Not really sure how it happened. I think the floor was quite slippery (probably too much waxing or something) and I lost the grip of my heels. The next thing I knew, my friends were asking me "Gosh, Trueblue, are you ok?". I was so embarrassed but of course I had to play it cool. They must have thought I was some kind of idiot. Thank God I didn't fall on my face because I quickly used my left hand to prevent myself from falling further. The consequence to that is now my left wrist hurts like crazy. I probably should get it checked but somehow I'm hoping the pain would go away on its own...soooonnn...pleaseeeeeee.....

Tomorrow I am gonna be away from office again..for another course and this time it will be for 2 weeks!!! I am having mixed feelings about it actually. Its great to be away from office but am not that excited to be leaving the family (its a residential programme). There will also be classes in the weekends! Not sure if I'll be able to blog much too. Will see how it goes.

It feels uncomfortable to type now because of this pain on my wrist. I guess I better sign off and get some rest. Hope you guys have a great weekend ahead. Think of me from time to time as I'll be 'locked up' somewhere for the next 2 weeks :(

Don’t get mad and don’t get even. Just try to ignore

2007-10-24T21:27:00.000-07:00

I think it’s normal that at some point in our life, we are bound to meet people who we can’t get along with. This could be due to several reasons like difference in opinions, clash in personality or had a bad history with the other person. Each of us also deals with these people differently. Some would fight back and some would just choose to ignore and continue with their lives. Of course our patience does have a limit and if the situation gets worse, we would want to stand our ground.

I am a patient person and would always choose to ignore. I don’t like confrontation and most definitely would want things to remain peaceful. The most I would do is bitch about it but I would not try to get even. However, I have to admit when things get out of hand, it does stress me out a bit.

I got caught into this situation some time ago and knowing me, when I worry, I tend to get overboard with it. A colleague advised me not to worry too much about people who have nothing better to do than make our life difficult. It’s a waste of time and energy. She recommended this book from Dale Carnegie: How to stop worrying and start living. I read a few chapters of it and now understand what she meant.

I’d like to share some interesting advice that Mr Carnegie mentioned in the book:

“When we hate our enemies, we are giving them power over us: power over our sleep, our appetites, our blood pressure, our health, and our happiness. Our enemies would dance with joy if only they knew how they were worrying us, lacerating us, and getting even with us! Our hate is not hurting them at all but our hate is turning our own days and nights into a hellish turmoil”.

To cultivate a mental attitude that will bring you peace and happiness, remember this rule:

“Let’s never try to get even with our enemies because if we do we will hurt ourselves far more than we hurt them. Let’s do as General Eisenhower does: let’s never waste a minute thinking about people we don’t like”

Ok, maybe ‘enemy’ is too harsh of a word. I’d rather put it as ‘people I can’t get along with’.

So friends, if there are these type of people in your life, just let them be. Think of it this way: the more we choose to ignore them, the more pissed off they’ll be. Teeheeheehee….

“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent” -Eleanor Roosevelt-

:(

2007-10-22T15:45:00.000-07:00

1.
Back at work. The first day after about 9 days of raya leave. *groan* It kinda feels like the first day of school... So lazy and rasa nak nangis :P.

2.
Was shocked this morning when someone called to say a friend of ours passed away this morning. Sudden heart attack. He was just 31 years old and left behind a pregnant wife and 3 small kids. I am very saddened by this news.

3.
Not in the mood to work

Things people do...

2007-10-08T11:30:00.000-07:00

I find it fascinating how some people would go through great lengths to get what they want. It can be through doing something dangerous, something funny or something weird but they don’t really care. The drive to get that certain prize is so strong that they are willing to endure all sorts of pain.

I wasn’t sure whether to be shocked or laugh when I read this brief news that came up in the The Sun last week.

HongKong- A Beijing woman won a car after kissing it for 27 hours and 40 minutes to beat 120 other competitors in a bizarre contest.

Real estate saleswoman Zhang Chunying was allowed two 10 minute breaks and had to stand on one leg after 24 hours were up in the contest run by a shopping mall in the capital.

With 6 contestants left after 24 hours, one collapsed from dehydration after 25 hours of kissing the Chevrolet Lova, the South China Morning Post reported yesterday.

The four others dropped out over the next two hours, unable to remain kissing and standing on one leg long enough to win.

The winner did not come out unscathed. “I can’t walk now” Zhang said. “My legs are numb and my waist is aching but I’m happy I got the car”

Unbelievable!

I personally would rather spend all that time to kiss my man :)

Note: Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri to all Muslim blogger friends out there. Please also forgive me for any wrong doings. Have a safe journey back to your kampung and make sure you don’t each too much!! I'm sure you guys are gonna have a great time but don't forget to come back to work!!

Take care everyone :)

Those 5 things...

2007-10-03T16:04:00.000-07:00

I don’t usually do tags but since this isn’t so hard plus Ms Sherie asked so nicely, I guess it wouldn't hurt to give it a try :)

5 Things In My Handbag

Wallet, coin wallet and card holder

Make-up stuff (lipstick, lip liner, eyebrow liner, compact powder, lip balm, blusher, perfume)

Mobile phone (Nokia 6300. Nothing fancy or high-tech but I love it!)

Facial blotter (what to do…got oily face)

Car key

5 Things In My Wallet

Money

I.C and Driving License

Cards (ATM, Credit Cards, Isetan, Bonus Link, ING)

Stamps (Need this when I pay for my credit cards. I know I should be more tech savvy and pay on-line but so malas to go to bank to activate, ask for i.d and all that)

Receipts (I do spring cleaning once a week)

5 Favourite Items In My Bedroom

My hairbrush (I have to brush my hair before going to bed. Its one of those habits)

My bolster (Tak puas tidur kalau takde bantal peluk)

My blanket (This is definitely a must. Otherwise, I’ll have nightmares of Toyols coming to get me)

My bed (Very welcoming especially after a hard days work)

My clothes

5 Things I Wish To Do

Move out from this department (It’s been so long. I’m turning into a dinosaur!!!)

Exercise and workout so that I’ll have a gorgeous body like Angelina Jolie (of course this shall remain a wishful thinking because I know I’ll be too lazy to do it)
Have the guts to tell this person to “shut up and buzz off!”

Take a long break from work and do some traveling

Go on a hot date with Brad Pitt

5 Things That I Am Doing Now

This tag

Listening to my favourite songs on ITunes
Hugging my pillow (supposed to be for my back but I like to hug it more)

Warm myself up (Already wearing a jacket and pashmina but its still freaking cold!!)

Daydreaming of Brad Pitt (oopps…better not. Kurang pahala puasa nanti. Teeheehee)

Ok Sherie, I dah buat homework. Hope you're happy!! :)

Lets celebrate!

2007-10-01T11:27:00.000-07:00

Celebrate good times, come on! (Let's celebrate)
Celebrate good times, come on! (Let's celebrate)

There's a party goin' on right here
A celebration to last throughout the years
So bring your good times, and your laughter too
We gonna celebrate your party with you
(song from Kool and the Gang)

Today marks my 9th year in the company. Woohoo!! Can't believe how time flies by so fast! I’ve got a LOT more years to go though. *Groan*

There have been sad and happy moments throughout the 9 years. Some of which I made the right decision, some I wish I could have done better and some I know I would never want to repeat again. I had good bosses, I had crappy bosses. There were great friends and colleagues and not to forget the annoying ones also. Good or bad, I must say I learnt a lot through all the experiences.

I know there is still a lot more room for improvement and I’m looking forward to many more productive years ahead!

Happy Anniversary to me! :)

My alma mater

2007-09-25T08:45:00.000-07:00

I heard that the new shopping centre, Pavillion KL (situated at Bukit Bintang area) is now open to the public. Shopper lovers may find the news exciting because there's a new shopping mall and thus more places to shop but I can’t help feeling a bit sad and nostalgic about it because what is now the Pavillion was once a school and its not just any school, it was MY SCHOOL.

Bukit Bintang Girls School. Primary and Secondary. Yep, that was my school. I started from Standard 3 up until a few weeks of Form Six. If the school was still around, I think it should have been about 114 years old. I guessed it must have been the oldest school in KL. The school is now relocated at Taman Shamelin, Cheras and known as Sekolah Sri Bintang Utara. *sigh* Its not the same anymore :(

I remembered all of us, BBGSians were so upset when we heard the school was going to be demolished. This was back in 1993. We made protests but of course they had better reasons. Apparently the school causes traffic jams as it is situated near to shopping areas (at the time it was KL Plaza, Lot 10, Sg. Wang Plaza, Bukit Bintang Plaza). But I think even without the school now, the area is still packed with cars on the road. They also said we might get distracted and sneak into the shopping malls but that can happen to any school kids, even if their school is outside of KL. I remembered during my time, even though we knew our school was near to shopping malls, it wasn’t as if we could easily drop by. We needed permission slips and if you get caught, then its big trouble for you.

The school brings back a lot of memories. We had school traditions and some that I remember are:

We washed our own toilets.
-This was during the secondary years. Each class had their own toilet and we take turns washing depending on the duty roster in class. Every Monday we had a school assembly and the Headmistress would announce the Best Class Cleanliness, Best Floral Arrangement and Best Toilet Cleanliness. The class who wins will get to keep the Cleanliness/Floral arrangement trophy for a week. I remembered every time my class won, we would be screaming like crazy as if it were some Grammy Award. Haha..So funny..
Inter-class and Inter-school Choral Speaking
- I loved Choral Speaking. It was a must for each class and we held it during a certain month of the year. My class took it pretty seriously and we always aimed to win. I remember being in the finals and semi-finals during form 1 and form 4. It was especially great when it was our turn to host the Inter-School Competition. Why? Because this was the time when boys (i.e: from Royal Military College and Victoria Institution) would come to our school and being in an all-girls school, we get a tad bit excited. Hehehe…Gatal hormones working laaaaaa…..We also held inter-school drama, choir and cheerleading competitions which was a great way to meet new friends.

English and Bahasa Malaysia Day
- There were days when we were only allowed to speak English or Bahasa Malaysia. If on an English day, we spoke in Bahasa Malaysia, the prefects would tell us off and say “Speak English, please” and vice versa. I think this was a way to help us practice both languages.

I remember also:

i. Queuing before we entered our class because the prefects would have to check on things like our nails, the way we tied ribbons on our ponytails (the ribbons had to be either black or white and of a certain width), whether we wore our house badge (sports house: either blue, green, yellow, red or purple-and I still don’t know why this was so important) and whether our pockets had buttons on it (so that our wallets won’t fall off!). I remember one time my classmate was so annoyed with all the checking and asked the prefect “Bila nak check gigi pulak?”

ii. The 7/11 nearby where we used to get our Big Gulp and Slurpees especially after any sports practice (after school hours)

iii. Hanging out at McDonalds Bukit Bintang during form 4 and 5 (after school, of course!). My friends and I even did our homework there. We would order fries and 10 sky juices!

iv. My dikir barat practices. I was in the school team. We would practice behind the school hall, school gym and even on the field (not right in the middle but at some corner under the shade of the trees)

v. One particular teacher (when I was in form 3) got so mad because her high heels always got stuck in the cracks/holes of the classroom floor (sekolah lamalah katakan). We were so terrified of her to the point that one classmate actually brought cement/plaster the next day to cover the holes!

vi. The hawkers outside the school compound. I would get junk foods like the 20sen Cadbury chocolate, chickadees and sengkuang

vii. There were a few times when we saw flashers after school while waiting for our bus. Of course this freaked us out and we’d be running to tell our teachers!

Gosh..there are a million things to share!! I miss everything about the school. I miss the teachers and I miss my old friends. I wasn't one of the naughty girls but not exactly a goody two shoes either. And even though I wasn't known as most promising student, I like to think I played a part in building up the school's name. I also believe whatever values I learned from school has helped me become the person I am today. Obviously not someone rich and famous but I think I turned out alrightlah :)

If I stand in front of Pavillion KL now, I know I can still picture my alma mater there. There are too many memories and its not that easy to forget.

Nisi Dominus Frustra. That is the school motto which in Latin means Without God, All is in Vain. I believe all BBGS students’ holds this motto close to their hearts.

Note: I’ve been sneezing since Sunday. Think I might get the sniffles! :(

Brrrrrrrrrrrr

2007-09-21T12:13:00.000-07:00

I’m shivering…….It's too cold. The office feels like the North Pole (like I’ve been there la to know). It gets like this every time it’s the fasting month. Maybe because we don’t eat, so we don’t have the energy to burn. I thought with all this fat on me, I should be ok but nooooooooooooooo…I’m still feeling collllllddddd….

I have already put on a jacket and wrapped my body with a pashmina. It helps a bit but now my hands are cold. I’m having trouble typing coz my hands are shaking. I feel like putting on gloves now. I can’t even rest my arms on the table because the table is freezing cold tooooooooo…… Rasa macam kat overseas pulak.

Good excuse not to work?

Yeah right. As if I can. Big boss went prowling around the floor earlier. He wasn’t in the office for the past 2 days so I guess he wants to check what we’ve been doing. So, I have to look busy today. Well, I am busy but must look EXTRA busy. Hehe..Don't want him to kacau me. :)

Have a good weekend you all.

The curse of the Facebook

2007-09-18T15:40:00.000-07:00

A friend introduced me to Facebook like a few hours ago and now I can't seem to stop 'playing' around with it. I blame you, Miss Saigon Cat!!

Whoever created this thing is one smart person. Hehe..It's pretty useful when we're bored at work and just want to unwind.

But still..I cannot be distracted with this. Boss just gave me something new to do. *groan*. Work or facebook....work or facebook....work or facebook............

Boss, I do it tomorrow, can or not? Its nearly 4pm anyway, time to go home.....Hihihi..

And to think I was totally worried about work a few weeks ago!! Well, I guess I have my moments....

Phew

2007-09-13T10:50:00.000-07:00

Yep. That’s what I feel at this exact moment. Total relief. No, the assignment has not completely finish but at least the big chunk of it is over. As of 5.15pm yesterday, I finally completed the 2 papers that will be presented to the very, very, very big boss of this company.

This past one month or so has been really hectic. Hard to believe I actually survived through all those feeling of panic. Now I know what it means when people say “what doesn’t kill you can only make you stronger”.

I guess I just needed to talk about it. It helps..just to let it all out. It's not gonna solve the problem because I have to go through the situation anyway but at least I don’t have to keep the nervous feeling bottled up anymore. I didn’t realize how stressed I was until it came to a point when I was unable to control my fear and kept saying “Oh My God..Oh My God…Oh My God..”. I didn’t understand why my colleagues looked so relaxed when there were so many things to do.

When I reflect back to what happened, I think being in a new position and a new unit led to unnecessary pressure on myself as I wanted to prove to others that I can do it. I kept comparing myself to my senior colleagues, wanting to be at par or at least close to being at par to them. There was so much to learn and I kept pushing myself, wanting things to be perfect. I wanted to do a good job and was worried that I’d be disappointing my boss. I know now that all this takes time.

Big boss told me the other day that I put too much expectation on myself, tend to overly worry but in the end I always pull through. It’s funny how I never realized that.

I’m not out of the woods yet because there are still other assignments to do. Being somewhat of a perfectionist, I know I would still be overly worried about future assignments but at least now I’ve learned to take things easy. Come to think of it, being overly concerned has a plus point too as I know I will get things done. Anyway, an important note to remember is that when things start to get difficult, I just need to relax, take a deep breath and tell myself “It’s gonna be ok”.

*To all my Muslim friends, hope you have a blessed Ramadhan*

Siti and me...

2007-09-05T09:05:00.000-07:00

For some bizzare reason I dreamt of Siti Nurhaliza last night. Weird.

In the dream, it felt as if I was real close to her. I think she was in a rough patch at the time. She was going through rounds of interviews with reporters and all the time she was holding my hand as if needing my support. She kept telling me "Please don't leave me. I need you now".

No. I don't know her personally.

No. I'm not really a big fan.

Weird.

I wish I dreamt of Brad Pitt instead. *sigh*

short break..I hope!

2007-08-22T09:00:00.000-07:00

I am swamped!

I'm actually up to my nose with the amount of work I have at the moment. And the crappy part is all projects came about the same time and all is considered urgent. I keep feeling nervous all the time because as I'm doing one work, I start to think "Oh Shit! I haven't done much on the other two projects today". Everyday I get a constant feeling of panic which isn't really healthy to my mind, body and soul. The last thing I want to have is a nervous breakdown. *sigh*

Gosh! I'm already feeling guilty for spending a few minutes writing this post. Arghhhh!! Ok, ok.. I better stop now.

Anyways you all...I just wanted to say that normal postings will resume once I actually have time to do it or most importantly once I can breathe properly.

I hope to be back very soon.

Take care you guys!!!

Busy as a bee

2007-08-10T20:58:00.000-07:00

I can't believe how busy I've been this week. Had meetings after meetings. Didn't even have time to sulk about how much I hate Mondays. Been given 3 projects to lead for this quarter. Arghhhhh!! Stress..stress! I even have to work this weekend. Waaaaaaaaaaa.......

Was scribbling some notes last night to prepare for a meeting this morning. Of course D* also wanted to 'help' out. She drew pictures on the presentation papers I brought back from office. Apparently, this is a picture of me...

Hmm....don't quite see the resemblance but oh well, how much can one expect from a four year old?!

Hope you guys have a great weekend. I certainly would not be enjoying mine :(

I hate Mondays

2007-08-06T10:08:00.000-07:00

Yup. That pretty much summarises my feelings for today.

2 hate entries in a row. Imagine that.

Hate them creepy crawlies

2007-08-02T11:45:00.000-07:00

God only knows how much I HATE cockroaches. Ok, maybe it’s more of scared or ‘geli’ but if we put these two together, it would definitely lead to despise, detest, dislike and all those negative words. Simply put, I absolutely loathe the insect. The mere sight of it just gives me the creeps.

And what is even worse? Flying cockroaches!

I had a traumatic experience about them back in my teens. I was in my room with my sis when all of a sudden this bloody cockroach went flying around our room. We went hysterical, screaming our heads off. The cockroach seemed to sense that we were scared and being a horrible insect that it is, tried to follow us around. It followed us when we ran to one corner and followed us again when we ran to another corner. You can imagine the commotion we caused that night! It sounded like we were chased by a murderer. I don’t know why we didn’t think of running out of the room.

Anyway, all went quiet when the cockroach suddenly disappeared. We crawled back to our beds with a feeling of absolute relief. We thought it was over but noooooooooooooooooo……..out of nowhere the cockroach flew and landed somewhere near my mouth. This time I screamed even louder! I was yelling to my sister “Get it off! Get if off!” but she did nothing of the sort. She just stood on her bed with her mouth open and looked shocked beyond words. I had no choice but to do it myself. I smacked the cockroach off my face and it landed on the floor. I immediately took a book and gave it a big whack! The evil cockroach died that night. Yep, I killed it. And I’m happy that I did. To this day I can still feel its hairy legs on my face. Urghhhh…!!

I’ve lived in my apartment for over a year now and it’s great that for the past one year, the apartment has been insect-free. Or maybe they were already around but managed to hide from me…... Anyway, lately ants and cockroaches have started to crawl out of their hiding place and made their presence visible in the apartment. Cleanliness of the apartment is definitely my utmost priority so seeing them crawling at various corners of the apartment just drives me crazy! The cockroaches are small in size and still in their baby phase but I’m not gonna wait till they get big. Must get rid of them fast! Need to call those Pest Control people. If only I had a wand and some magical powers, I’d aim at the cockroaches and go “Stupefy! Stupefy!”

P/S: One more chapter to go!!

Monday ramblings

2007-07-30T10:00:00.000-07:00

What a way to start a Monday morning: Wet and cold. It’s been raining since I left home. The gloomy weather outside definitely gives me the Monday blues. I’d give anything to be back in bed right now. *sigh*

Was a bit busy last week and didn’t have time to update my blog. Anyway, let me share some happenings:
1. Attended Leadership workshop for 2 days
- Won a prize for Best Inspiring Speech. Haha.. What a joke! Still don’t have a clue how and why I won. We only had 20 minutes to prepare! I remembered panicking like hell while listening to the other two ‘contestants’ give their speech. One of them was great! She looked like a pro and even included a ‘pantun’ at the end of her speech. I don’t know what I was babbling about at the rostrum. I think I just made things up along the way. An unexpected surprise indeed :)

2. Sick for a few days due to mild food poisoning
- Woke up on Wednesday morning and had a major stomach ache. Wasn’t sure whether I should go to work but since there was a workshop that day, I forced myself to go. Ended up going in and out of the toilet for a few times that day. Still wasn’t well by Friday so I took MC and rested at home

3. Bought anklet on Saturday
- My poor left ankle didn’t want to feel naked anymore :). So, I decided to get a new anklet. Now when I walk, it goes *ting* ting*ting*. I know some people may find it annoying but I really don’t care. Hehe…Ooohh (nak gossip sikit), while I was at the jewellery store, I saw Natasha Hudson there. Must be choosing rings for her wedding

4. Finally managed to watch Transformers yesterday
-Two words: Best gilerrrrrrrrrrrrr!! I purposely waited a few weeks to watch the movie because I don’t like huge crowds. But I was surprised that until yesterday, the theatre was still packed. Full house! Anyway, it was a great movie. I’m glad I got the chance to watch

5. Bought Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows yesterday
- Yeah..was looking forward to this for quite some time now. I had to re-read Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince to refresh my memory on what happened before getting the new book. Started on Wednesday and finally finished yesterday. So I immediately went out to the book store to get the new book. I have mixed feelings now actually. Though I am excited to know how the series end but somehow I feel sad that it’s finally the last book! No more Harry Potter after this. Sob-sob :(

6. Received another weird and irritating sms
- Remember my entry on annoying sms? I got another one last week: “Senyap itu indah. Tiada yang lebih menggairahkan lelaki bila melihat pasangannya membuka. SMS on SX ke 33168”. What the hell is that??? *#@$%$*

So you can see there was a mixture of good and bad experience for me last week. Hope to have a more eventful week ahead.

Hope you guys have a great one too. Take care!

Thoughts of you...

2007-07-20T09:10:00.000-07:00

Every time I look at you

I can’t help but smile

Your joy and laughter

Makes my spirit go high

It’s hard to believe

How time flies so fast

It feels like yesterday

When I first held you in my arms

If you find yourself in trouble

Never think you’re all alone

I’ll be there for you

No matter how long

I love you more

with each passing day

This bond that we have

No one can take away

My thoughts and prayers

Are always with you

I wish you well

In whatever you do

Strange happenings

2007-07-14T12:47:00.000-07:00

1.
For these past few days, my right hand has been feeling itchy. The strange thing is I can’t seem to find the right spot to scratch. I’ll be scratching and scratching and still don’t’ feel relieved. It’s like a general feeling of itchiness but not specific to one area. It’s driving me crazy!

People say when our hands feel itchy, it’s a sign that we’re gonna get some money. I hope this is true. Now...(trying to recall) who owes me money????!!!

2.
I only realized on Thursday night that I lost my anklet. I could have sworn I had it on when I went to work in the morning. I couldn’t find it at home, not in my car and not even at the office. I’ve lost hope now. I have a feeling whoever found it must have kept it for him/herself. *sob*sob*.

It feels strange. It doesn’t feel right. I’ve been wearing that anklet for 7 years and now I feel naked without it. Please, please..whovever found it, give it back to me.....

3.
This strange incident happened about a month ago and it still gives me the creep when I think about it. I finished work early that day and thought I’d do some retail therapy at the shopping complex nearby. As I was walking, from out of the blue a guy came walking beside me and started chatting. I don’t easily talk to strangers and usually if some guy wants to ‘pick me up’; I tend to ignore and walk off. But somehow this guy was being overfriendly and for some strange reason I was drawn to the conversation.

Him: Hi!

Me: Hi!

Him: Kerja kat mana? (Where do you work?)

Me: Kerja kat so and so (I work at so and so..)

Him: Department mana? (Which department?)

Me: Kat department so and so (Department so and so)

Him: Ohhh…nama siapa? (Ohh..What’s your name?)

Me: Bla bla bla

He asked me a few other questions but I forgot what it was. I remembered asking myself “What the hell am I doing? Why am I willingly giving personal information to some stranger?”. I realized it but couldn’t stop myself. I’ve never done it before so why was I doing it then? We parted ways after about 5 minutes. I remembered being in a state of confusion and asked myself “What was that all about?”.

Strange and scarrryyyy….

Just one of them days..

2007-07-09T16:20:00.000-07:00

Sometimes, when I’m feeling kind of depressed and in the mood to receive 'puji-pujian', I have this conversation with my daughter:

Me: D*, Mama cantik tak?
D*: Cantik! Mama cantikkkk sangat! Pretty like a princess. Pretty macam model. I love you mamaaaaa *gives me loads of kisses*
Me: *big smile* Thank you, D*

*sigh* Now if that doesn't melt your heart, I don't know what will :)

I can always count on D* to give me lovely praises. It’s great that she can detect when I’m feeling down and so she goes a bit over the top when giving me praises. Of course I can ask hubby but he might think I’ve gone bonkers :). Its either that or he might say "eh, perasan la you!".

I know, I know, it’s a lame way to cheer myself up but hey…if it works, why not??!! *wink*

Annoying sms! #$*&@!!!

2007-07-05T15:32:00.003-07:00

I don’t mind getting text messages from my Service Provider when there’s any announcement on promotion, updates, etc.

I also don’t mind receiving sms from the Melium Group, Esprit, SKII or Mac when they want to announce sales or news on promotional activities/items.

I find it great too when Citibank sends me an sms each month reminding me of my credit card bill due date, the amount to pay, etc

BUT…

I do find it VERY ANNOYING when I get these type of sms and I’m not even sure who sends them.

FOC: Hot MAN Zone! Get pretty GIRLS in ur Hphone now! Sms to 33377 for animation or for wallpaper. Send now!

This is another one:
Suasana romantis…sentuhan ringan sehingga keinginan yang tertahan muncul jua. Sms ON SX ke 33168. Untuk dewasa sahaja

Oh come on…!! Does anyone actually reply to these sms?

And why do they have to send it at random? Buang masa I je baca the sms..!! #$@&!!

Hopelessly devoted to you

2007-07-02T16:50:00.000-07:00

Dear Chocolate,

Why do you have to taste so good? Of the many pleasures in the world, you’re the one thing I find simply irresistible. I try and try and try to avoid you but I can never find the strength to do it. Your alluring aroma, creamy and silky texture makes me want to get close to you. There's this eagerness to make me want to taste your sweetness. All I want to do is make you melt in my mouth. Mmmmmmm…..It’s certainly one of life's most pleasurable moments.

Chocolate,

Can’t you see what you’re doing to me? I’m totally hooked on you. I can’t imagine us ever being apart. I love you too much to ever let you go.

I’ve been busy today and haven’t had a chance to taste you. But don’t worry my darling. I’ll definitely grab you (from my drawer) once I’ve finished writing this letter.

Thank you so much for always being there for me. You always know how to brighthen up the rainy days. Before I go, just remember one thing: Me minus you equals blue.

I’ll see you soon. *kiss*

Forever yours,

*Trueblue *

The Superhero in you

2007-06-27T15:45:00.000-07:00

It’s been a slow week. We’ve been busy finalizing the presentation materials for next week’s big event. I can’t wait till Friday. I just want to get this all over with. I wish had the power to move forward or backward to a time that I enjoy. I get to skip the boring or stressful moments and jump to the more tolerable times. It's something like Hiro Nakamura’s (from Heroes) powers, being able to travel through time.

Most people, when they were kids, had a favourite Superhero. I can’t say I had one of my own. I remember growing up watching cartoons/movies/tv shows like Wonder Woman, Incredible Hulk, Superman, Batman, Spiderman, etc and didn't get much obsessed with the characters. I didn’t have a favourite Superhero but maybe wished I had bits and pieces of their powers. It would be cool to choose whatever power and suit it according to my needs.

We also have our very own local Superhero: Cicakman. It was aired on Astro Ria last month and I managed to watch a few scenes (just wanted to see what the big deal was all about). I don’t mean to sound harsh here but I must say I was bored to death. The jokes weren’t funny at all and I definitely didn’t feel Cicakman was much of a Superhero.

Anyway, while we’re at this topic, let’s just have some fun. This is something I got from the net and thought I’d share it with you.

Which superhero ability would you choose?
1. The ability to fly.
2. Time-travel ability.
3. Invisibility.
4. X-ray vision.
5. The power to change forms.
6. The ability to read minds.
7. The ability to see into the future.
8. Super hearing.

Results
1. Flying - You like to see the "big picture" of life and how things fit together. Little details annoy you. You enjoy being free and taking risks.
Career clue: You'd make a good pilot or astronaut. Consider a job that will let you affect policies, maybe in government or a public research group.

2. Time travel - You are interested in the causes of things and how past mistakes can be used to shape the future. You're very curious about how different people live.
Career clue: A career in scientific research, history, or human behavior might be the place for you. You might enjoy a job where you can affect the future.

3. Invisibility - You tend to be shy, or a very keen observer. Or both. You like to know everything that is going on around you.
Career clue: Some good careers for observers, a writer, artist, or private investigator.

4. X-ray vision - You like to "see through" problems and go to the heart of an issue. You enjoy finding problems that other people can't even see. You also enjoy solving problems.
Career clue: Physics, politics, math, and medicine are fields that need skilled problem-solvers.

5. The power to change forms - You are a sociable person who likes to fit in. Perhaps you want to be admired by the group. Either way, you're a real crowd pleaser!
Career clue: Entertainment might be the field for you. Actors can "change forms" and be other people.

6. Mind reading - You're good at guessing what other people think. You can "see behind" what they're saying by reading between the lines.
Career clue: You might be a good counselor or psychologist. It's important for professionals in those careers to understand how other people think and feel.

7. Seeing into the future - You're very creative and love adventure. You would move right into the future if you could! You're always looking at what might be possible, and wondering how to make it happen sooner.
Career clue: A career on the cutting edge of things might be right for you. Think about becoming an explorer, research scientist, inventor, or science fiction writer.

8. Super hearing - You pay close attention to sounds and patterns. You like to be fully informed about the latest news. Some might even say you're nosy!
Career clue: You might make an excellent reporter or gossip columnist. Or you might decide to become a musician

It’s hard to choose a particular power. I may want to choose either number 2 or 6. I think Peter Petrelli (from Heroes) has the best power of all because he’s able to absorb powers from the other Heroes characters. But having said all that, I’d rather be a normal human being. It’s much easier and there’s less pressure.

“With great power comes great responsibility”.

That’s the famous dialogue from the movie Spiderman. So I guess I’d rather be saved than do the saving. Not that I don't want the responsibility but once in a while, I wouldn’t mind being the damsel in distress :). Wonder if there are any hot Superheroes out there to save me…….. Note that I'm stressing the word hot here. Superheroes must be hot, right?. Except of course, Incredible Hulk! *yikes*

Childhood poems

2007-06-22T14:40:00.000-07:00

I have a pen
My pen is blue
I have a friend
My friend is you

I found this poem while rummaging through old books last weekend. Very classic indeed :). If memory serves me right, I think I was in Standard 3. A friend must have scribbled it in my book during one of our boring classes. Memories of my childhood days were flashing in my mind and most certainly brought smiles to my face.

My early years of primary school were full of innocence. I don’t know about the kids nowadays but back then (primary school in the 80s), poems like these were used during occasions like when sending out greeting cards or when signing autograph/biodata book/school yearbook.

On top of my head, these are some that I can recall:

Pen merah
Pen biru
You marah
I love you

Pecah kaca
Pecah gelas
Sudah baca
Harap balas

Pecah kaca
Pecah tong
Sudah baca
Harap gantung

The king sails in a goldenship
The queen sails in a silvership
But we sail on a friendship

Don’t marry a pilot
I’ll tell you why
He’ll take you to the airport
And say bye-bye

I can’t help but laugh when reading this back again. It sounds funny now and so childish. Those were the good old days. It’s definitely a childhood memory thats worth treasuring.

I can’t remember the other poems but if you grew up within the same era, do let me know of the others. It’s nice going down memory lane.

Bedtime + Blanket = Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz

2007-06-19T16:43:00.000-07:00

I can’t sleep without a blanket. Seriously, I can’t. Some people can’t sleep with the lights on or some people must have total silence but for me, I must have a blanket. If it doesn’t cover my whole body, it should at least cover my feet.

Why? Well, let me tell you a story.

******************************************
It all started when I was a little girl, probably about 9 or 10 years old.

Back during the days when my grandfather was still around, my family and other relatives would all meet up and spend the weekend with him. It was like a weekend ‘balik kampung’ thing. One of the activities we used to do on Saturday night was watch a video together and for some reason, my uncles loved to rent out Indonesian horror movies. It wasn’t actually meant for the young kids (we were supposed to be in bed by then) but my cousins and I still wanted to join in the fun. So there we were, all 20 plus of us in the dark, (my uncles wanted the lights off, just like in the cinemas) huddled together in front of the tv.

Have you guys ever watched horror movies from Indonesia? It’s damn scary, man….I know you guys might say of course kids would be afraid of horror movies but this was like reaaaalllllyyyyy creepy. If we were to compare it to Malaysian horror movies back then, this was like 10 times much scarier. I remembered being so terrified and my hands were covering my face most of the time. I specifically remembered one particular movie. I can't remember the title but it was about ‘Toyol’. I’m not sure what it’s called in English but they’re these little bald man-like creatures who are treated as servants (or ‘orang suruhan’) by their owners. Apart from the normal task of scaring people, they are also used to steal things. These ‘toyols’ would come late at night to the victim’s room and steal their money. A scene that horrifies me till today was when after getting the money, they would suck the blood from the victim’s toes. I can still picture the toyol enjoying its ‘meal’, with its sharp teeth biting and sucking the toes. Blood was dribbling down its mouth. There were other things too but I shall spare you the gory details. What I found eerie also was the fact that the victim seemed clueless to what was going on. It was like they were in a trance.

I couldn’t sleep that night. I was too scared. Images of the toyol kept flashing in my mind. It also didn’t help when my uncle said “Make sure you use your blanket when you sleep and cover your feet. Who knows, the toyol might come tonight”. My cousins and I were so petrified; we nearly pissed in our pants!

Times have past but till today I cannot forget what my uncle said. I may not be as scared as before but I do get paranoid when I don’t have a blanket to sleep with. If for some reason there’s no blanket around, I would search frantically for any cloth to cover my feet. I’ve been so used to having something covering my feet when I sleep at night that when I don’t, I feel naked. It’s either that or I’ll start having visions that a toyol would come suck my toes!

I know this all sounds so ridiculous but I can’t help it. It has become a part of my life. Maybe I need to go see a shrink. I can claim I had a traumatic childhood experience. :)

*****************************************
So that’s my story, folks. If you want to invite me for a sleepover, make sure you have enough supply of blankets!! *grin*

Sorry seems to be the hardest word

2007-06-15T10:34:00.000-07:00

"I’m sorry". Sounds like a simple word. You think? What about "Please forgive me". How hard really is it to say you’re sorry? Do you take forever to do it or you don't even think twice about saying it? Maybe how soon you apologise depends on a situation.

So, which type are you?
1. If you know you did something wrong, you’ll quickly apologise. There’s no question about it.

2. You know its not your fault but you can’t stand the silence or you can’t stand that person being angry/hurt, so you apologise anyway. You apologise because you feel "takpelah, I mengalah". You apologise because you feel whats the point of arguing for so long.

3. You had an argument. It may or may not be you’re mistake but you’re too embarrased to say you’re sorry anyway. So you just let it pass..don’t talk about it and act as if nothing happened. You wait until the other person talks to you. If that person brings up the subject, then maybe you’ll apologise.

4. Me? Apologise? Never!! I’m too proud. Nothing is ever my fault.

"Sorry’ is a powerful word. None of us really enjoy finding ourselves in a situation of saying sorry to anyone, but every one of us has had to say it periodically. It is a natural reaction for many and yet a huge obstacle for only a few. An honest apology can mend relationships , dissolve anger, soothe shattered pride or heal a broken heart. Avoiding an apology makes relationships more strained and it can reveal something negative about you. Being incapable of apologising can be a real character flaw.

I always remind myself to apologise immediately if I did something wrong. But I also have a tendency to apologise too soon. Sometimes in mid argument, I would just apologise because I can’t be bothered to prolong the fight. I hate silent treatments. I absolutely detest that situation. So I tend to give in, make the first move and apologise. Even when I know that I didn’t do anything wrong. I think its true when people say that women have a tendency to over-aplogise.This is something that I need to learn to avoid.

If you’re in the wrong and you want to make sure you’re apology is ‘successful’, you need to be regretting your actions, take responsibility for them and be willing to remedy the situation. If two parties are equally at fault, it's still up to one person to initiate an apology. After all, you need to take responsibility for your part. However, there is a chance that, despite your apology, the other person is simply too upset over what's happened and isn't ready to let it go. If our apology isn't accepted, we need to take solace in the fact that we've done all we can, and hope that in time the other person will come around. If not, we should still feel better for admitting our fault and for having had enough empathy to see how our actions have affected someone else. I really need to learn how to do this well. I have a problem with people accepting my apology if their facial expression or body language doesn’t actually show it. Its like saying "I’m sorry" and they reply back with a straight face "Hmm...yelah". I guess different people handle these situations differently. Some people just need to take more time.

I make sure my daughter says sorry everytime she does something wrong. Children need to learn from a very young age. Just because my daughter is just 4 years old doesn't mean she can do whatever she wants and gets away with it easily. Of course sometimes she doesnt realise when she’s being naughty but I do scold her and explain her mistake. So when she does these things and I ask "What do you say, D*?".....She’ll reply "I’m sorry mama.....". She’ll give me a hug and all is well...until of course, when she’s naughty again...... :)

Sorry isn’t really that hard to say. You just need to have a ‘bigger’ heart.

Laughter is the best medicine

2007-06-12T17:05:00.000-07:00

People who know me well know that I absolutely love laughing. Its so easy to get me to laugh. Just tell me something funny and I’ll crack up. For some people, it may not be that funny but for me, it could be the funniest joke in the world and it’ll take me some time to stop laughing. There are times when I’m sitting alone and I remember a funny joke/moment/situation, I can just burst out laughing. And people nearby will think "eh..why la this girl gelak sorang-sorang?".

Because of the fact that I love laughing, I am easily attracted to guys with great sense of humor...guys who can make me laugh. Its certainly one of the qualities I look at. And when I say attracted, it doesn’t mean I can easily fall for any funny guy. Its more of the fact that I definitely know I can easily get along with that kind of guy.

I read somewhere that if we want to find Mr Right, we need to pay close attention to his laugh. Some people may find that weird but in a way, I kind of agree and based on my personal experience, I can relate to what the writer said. We can tell a lot about a man by his laugh. Real laughter is uncontrollable. For just a moment something strikes us as funny and the sound of laughter comes out spontaneously and without any real control on our part. Laughter can also be faked and thats the part we can analyse when we’re listening to his laughter. Lets look at a few things on a guy's laughter....

1. Is his laughter real or fake?
You can always tell when someone has one of those completely goofy laughs that nobody in their right mind would choose to have -- those silly sounding laughs that cause everyone else to laugh too. This reminds me of my colleague. He’s such a funny guy and when he laughs, he makes this funny kind of wail that makes me want to laugh even more. Hehehe.. There’s also those completely fake laughs that makes you want to cringe. Most people have fairly normal sounding laughs and they are spontaneous. If the guy you’re interested in fakes his laugh occasionally to laugh at someone’s attempt to tell a joke, that’s okay. But, if he fakes his laugh on a regular basis, then we should question his ability to portray his true and genuine self to the world. You may or may not feel like analyzing why he’s faking it, but it’s important to note if he’s presenting a false personality to the world on a regular basis.

2. Does he laugh easily?
There are men who have serious anger and violence issues. They don’t laugh easily. Also, guys who have serious depression problems obviously aren’t going to laugh as easily as someone who’s naturally happy and at peace with his life. The silent type may seem sexy for a while, but in the long run, you’re going to want to have some fun in your life too. It gets to be a real bore to hang out with someone who’s always incredibly serious and entertaining darker thoughts.

3. Does he laugh at people or with people?
Nobody likes to be made fun of, but this has more to do with what your man finds as funny. Does he find humour in ridiculing others? Does he laugh at others because everyone is incredibly foolish or stupid in his eyes? Is he constantly critiquing people looking for a reason to laugh at them? It doesn’t matter how witty or funny his presentation, it’s not a good sign if your man takes his personal pleasure in laughing at others. Some people can't take jokes easily. What seems funny to him may not be funny to other people. We need to be sensitive to other people’s feelings. Jokes about weight, appearance and looks should be avoided. Some people say its ok if the joke is coming from your close friends but for me, if you say the same joke and tease the person about the same thing every other day, it can be a pain and will definitely hurt the person’s feelings. You also don’t want someone who constantly makes himself the butt of all jokes either. Its an underlying self esteem issue when people spend a lot of time making fun of themselves. Its not the same as being able to laugh at one’s own mistakes. This is about constantly putting yourself at a low level. Also, is he able to find joy in someone else’s jokes? You don’t want someone who only laughs at his own jokes and nobody else’s.

4. Does the sound of his laughter fill you with joy?
Listen to the actual sound of his laughter. Does the sound make your heart jump with joy? It doesn’t matter if his laughter is like a roaring thunder or if he giggles like a little girl! What matters is that his laughter is infectious and makes your heart lighten. Imagine coming home from a really bad day at work. Upon entering the house, you hear his laughter coming from the kitchen. Does that sound lift your spirits? Or infuriate you even more? You want to be with someone who’s laughter makes your heart sing. So, choose someone who’s laughter heals your weary mind.

5. Do you laugh at the same things?
Yes, you want to be your own person with your own interests and your own unique sense of self, but you also want to share good times with your partner. You need to pick someone who has a similar sense of humour to your own. There’s nothing worse then having your partner roll their eyes like you’re so uncool every time you burst out laughing. What determines a person’s sense of humor is wide and varied, including upbringing and level of education. If you share the same overall sense of humor, chances are that you are fairly compatible in those areas. You’re somewhat on the same wave length.

6. Do you laugh at the same time?
This is also something that needs close attention. You want to pretty much agree on when is the proper time and place for goofing around and making each other laugh. If he likes to crack jokes and laugh a lot during foreplay and you find it to be a total turn off, then you’re going to have problems. If he keeps laughing at something when you’re trying to have a serious conversation, then you’re not going to get along so well. This also works in the other direction. If you’re the one who is constantly laughing and joking and he’s the one getting upset that your timing is inappropriate, then you’re not going to like hanging out with him. Compatibility shows itself in little things like timing.

Looking at the list above, of course whatever mentioned is also true when finding Mrs Right. There are other qualities that we need to look at but there’s no harm either to take note of how he/she laughs. For those who are still looking for your Mr/Mrs Right, look for someone who’s laughter heals you rather than grates on your nerves. And make sure you both laugh together and often. It’ll get you both through the tough times.

At least thats what I think.... :)

Updates for the week

2007-06-08T12:25:00.000-07:00

For those who were concerned (like maybe just the 5 of you *wink*), alhamdulillah, I am in the road to recovery now. I can finally walk normally without feeling that I’m going to immediately fall down. I guess its one of those sicknesses that comes and goes as it please.

The office environment has been quite hectic. We’ve got two major events coming in July and mostly all of us are busy preparing for that. Big boss as usual has been breathing down our necks, wanting to know every single detail and keeps having these ‘brainstorming sessions’ which drives us all mad. Changes to the presentation materials happen quite frequently too. It makes us wonder whether he’s actually a forgetful person or has the ability of generating new ideas every hour or so. To be honest, I don’t always get much of this nonsense directly from him as I still have a boss who acts as a buffer but seeing what he does to my colleagues who are closely involved is enough to make me all stressed.

I can’t remember whether I told you before that I have transferred to a new section in my department since 1st May. I now have a female boss which I haven’t had since year 2000. I know the style is gonna be a bit different (female bosses are known to be a bit more fussy) but I guess that’s something I have to get used to again. For the past one month, things have been tolerable and I hope it remains that way. My boss is on MC today which means I can spend time to blog. Yeah!

Anyway, since the transfer was some sort of promotion, I had to move to a new workstation and this was the saddest part of all. I loved my old workstation and I think of all the workstations on this floor, mine is the best one of all. It’s secluded at one corner and most importantly far away from the Big Boss’s room. It’s close to the ladies toilet, to the pantry and even the photocopy/printer room. I also have a good view of KL since my workstation is just by the window. Anytime I feel tired looking at the pc screen, I just look out the window. It's a great therapy! It’s also definitely a good hangout place. Since it’s a strategic location, one colleague even sneaks in to take a quick nap under my table. I don’t know whether it’s me or the place but my colleagues love to stop by and have a quick chat. We update each other on the latest happenings, share jokes and pretty much have a good time laughing our heads off (especially after office hours).

I really, really didn’t want to move but I had no choice. I tried to delay it and waited for another colleague to move first plus waited till 2 new workstations were built. And now after a month, I have finally moved. Yesterday afternoon and half of the morning today was spent packing my stuffs. Hard to believe how much junk I had. It was a sad feeling while I was packing but I shouldn’t complain because its all part of a change process, right?

I have officially moved today and I’m currently typing away at my new workstation. Its just opposite my boss’s room and worst of all, 4 workstations away from the Big Boss’s room. Ack! But that’s ok. I guess I just have to look at the bright side. At least the workstation is bigger and I still somewhat have a view of KL.

Thank God it’s Friday. I’m looking forward to the weekend. I really want to enjoy it after having that terrible episode last week. I want to just chill-out and spend quality time with my family. Too bad the school holidays will be ending soon. Traffic has been great since the kids were off from school, don’t you think?

Well, have a great weekend my friends…Take care and be good.

Ola my friends..

2007-06-05T15:30:00.000-07:00

Hello folks!

Gosh...it feels like I've been away for ages. Sorry guys...I haven't had time to update (not that you guys have been waiting pun kan? :P). Been too busy doing many things and not to forget I've been sick for the past 4 days. Once again, my head has been going on a roller coaster. It went spinning and spinning like a gasing. I was even too afraid to move for fear that any sudden movement would make the headache even worse.

*sigh*

I can't even begin to describe the pain I went through but I guess thats a story for another day. I haven't fully recovered and still don't feel comfortable. I went to see the doctor just now (asked for 2nd opinion) and she told me to wait another week to see if the pain would subside.

Normal posting will resume once I've got things all settled. I hope to be back on track soon.

Take care everyone..

Anyway....

2007-05-24T09:20:00.000-07:00

I’ve never been a fan of country songs or even know much about country singers but when I first heard Martina McBride sang her song, Anyway in one of the American Idol episodes, I immediately fell in love with it.

I find the song very inspirational. The lyrics provide deep meaning and it truly touched my heart.

Anyway (from Waking Up Laughing album)
You can spend your whole life building something from nothing
One storm can come and blow it all away
Build it anyway

You can chase a dream that seems so out of reach and you know it might not ever come your way
Dream it anyway

Chorus:
God is great, but sometimes life ain’t good
And when I pray it doesn’t always turn out like I think it should
But I do it anyway, I do it anyway

This world’s gone crazy and it’s hard to believe that tomorrow will be better than today
Believe it anyway

You can love someone with all your heart, for all the right reasons, and in a moment they can choose to walk away
Love ‘em anyway

Repeat Chorus

You can pour your soul out singing a song you believe in that tomorrow they’ll forget you ever sang
Sing it anyway, sing it anyway

I sing, I dream, I love, anyway

The song brings out a positive message. It makes me feel good about myself and I realize I can do anything in my life as long as I believe in it. If things aren’t going my way, I shouldn’t simply give up. I have to keep on aiming for the best.

We may not always get what we want in life but that’s ok. We have to keep on doing what we think is best and have faith that something good will turn out in the end. What’s important is that we must always be sincere in whatever we do.

This is a good song to listen to anytime you feel down. It has a way of making your spirits go high! Well, at least it does for me :)

Sharing session

2007-05-23T11:15:00.001-07:00

Yes, people. Hard as it may seem to believe, I actually do have feelings, you know.

Just because I don’t say much doesn’t necessarily mean I’m not affected by what people say.

Just because my tolerance level is quite high doesn’t necessarily mean people can think “It's ok, *Trueblue* wouldn’t mind”.

Just because I appear calm and relaxed doesn’t necessarily mean I don’t have my own set of problems.

Yes, I do get stressed. Maybe I don’t openly show it but then again, that’s the way I am. People deal with their problems in different ways, right?

Oh and yes, I do let people tease me. I’m very patient about it and most of the time I smile or just laugh along. Kena sporting la kan? But does that make me appear weak? Does that mean that people can keep on doing it whenever they want? Sometimes I just can’t be bothered to respond because I know people are just making jokes and trying to have fun. So I just give this sweet smile of mine and let it go. But don’t la be sensitive when I start doing the teasing. Hey, if you guys can do it, surely I can have my fair share of fun too, right?

As mentioned earlier, I’m very good about being patient. But, like any normal human being I do have my limits. After a lot of keeping things to myself and giving in to people, don’t be surprised when I suddenly explode. No, I won’t go and shoot people but I can snap at you. I am capable of saying harsh things too, you know. So don’t be shocked or get taken aback. It’s funny how some people are surprised when I suddenly get sarcastic. They might think: "Wow! *Trueblue* said that?". Hey, I’m not all so sugary, sweet and nice all the time.

I am a firm believer of: If you don’t like it when people do or say certain things to you, you yourself shouldn’t be doing it to other people. It’s all common sense, right?

Think about it.

Anyway, on an unrelated matter, I was going through the blogthings site and thought this is something I was curious to find out :)

What kind of panties are you?

You Are Basic Panties

You are a laid back chick with a real natural beauty.You can make unwashed hair and minimal make-up super sexy.Men tend to notice you show the "real you" - and they appreciate it.And while basic makes boring for some, it looks classic on you.

What Kind of Panties Are You?

The morning Trueblue turned green

2007-05-21T09:00:00.000-07:00

Oh my God. I seriously feel like puking now. I can actually feel myself turning green.

I think someone must have eaten a whole ‘papan’ of petai last night.

How do I know?

Went to the toilet (at the office) and the moment I entered…the moment I opened the door, I could feel the wind blowing a strong smell of shit + petai towards my face.

Yuckkkkkkkkkkkkk…………..

I seriously wanted to pee and thought I could tolerate the smell. But nooooooo…the disgusting smell was too much to bear. I was desperate for fresh air so I quickly ran out. Its ok, I think I’d rather hold it in for now (but don’t know how long, though).

*sigh* This is definitely not a good start to a Monday morning.

Weird happenings around the world

2007-05-14T15:20:00.000-07:00

I was reading the papers the other day and there was this particular article that caught my eye.

A Sudanese man who married a goat (a what?) was in mourning today after his wife died when she swallowed a plastic bag.

Charles Tombe shot to fame last year when he tied the knot with Rose.

A court ordered him to marry the beast "to save her honour" after he was caught making amorous advances toward the mother-of-one in the middle of the night.

Mr Tombe and Rose are believed to have lived happily ever after (I can’t imagine how) until her life was cruelly cut short.

The story, which became one of the world's best read tales, began in Juba, southern Sudan, in February last year when the BBC reported that the then owner of the goat, Mr Alifi, was awoken in the night by a strange noise.

Walking out of his traditional hut, he was confronted by the sight of Mr Tombe and Rose in a passionate embrace.

The Times reported that Mr Alifi said: 'When I asked him "What are you doing there?" he fell off the back of the goat, so I captured and tied him up."

When Mr Tombe was brought before a council of elders he claimed he was drunk when Rose caught his eye. (seriously?? He must have been reaaaalllllllyyyy drunk)

He was ordered to pay Mr Alifi a "dowry" of 15,000 Sudanese dinars - about £25 - since he was considered to have used the goat "as his wife."

In the same way a man is expected to marry a woman if he has sex with her in southern Sudan, Mr Tombe was deemed to have married Rose.

However, despite a happy marriage (I wonder if they kept doing it), money was tight and Rose died after swallowing a plastic bag as she scavenged for food on the streets of Juba. (poor Rose)

She is said to have left a male kid - not a boy (thank God!). It is not yet known whether she will be cremated or used in a local speciality of goat curry.

Sounds a bit of a nonsense to me. *sigh* Weird people like this actually exist in this world.

A year older

2007-05-10T09:25:00.000-07:00

“Happy Birthday to me
Happy Birthday to me
Happy Birthday to Trueblue
Happy Birthday to me”

Yep, it’s my birthday today. 32 years old. My, my…Has 1 year really gone by that fast?

Back when I was in my teens, I thought adults who were in their 30s looked so matured. I would look at them and think “Gosh, I can’t imagine what I’d look like at that age!”.

I remembered 2 years ago, I was dreading to reach the big 3-0 age. It felt like I was entering another era, another phase in my life and I wasn’t sure I was ready for it. Being in the 20s was fine. It was the age where we were a little bit matured and just about entered the adult phase. It was the age where in a way we could still get away with things because we were still experimenting life. I had this vision that being in the 30s meant that ‘yes, you’re much older (you’ll look older too). It’s time to get serious. It’s time to get a hold of your life’. So it felt kind of scary. Gone are the days when people called you ‘adik’. People would start thinking of you as a ‘kakak’ or an ‘aunty’. So yes, you’ll definitely look older!

My guy friends (who have past 30) told me then that I shouldn’t worry. Women start to peak when they are in their 30s. They will blossom and become very much matured. They will also be more experienced in certain areas (if you know what I mean *wink*). I couldn’t quite picture what they meant at the time so I just had to trust them. It’s not like I could stop time anyway.

Now that I’m already in my 30s, I agree, it’s not as bad as I thought it was. It’s not bad at all actually. I mean, ageing is a natural process of life. Its not like the moment you hit 30, you’re gonna look like a sack of potatoes. It’s all in the mind. If you’re really concerned about looking old, then take steps to take care of your health. Do the normal stuff like exercise and eat well. Women in their 30s can still look hot, right? :)

I’ve learned many things since turning 30. Yes, I’ve definitely become more matured. I try not to whine about petty things because there’s seriously more important things in life. I have set my priorities and pretty much have an idea what I want in life. I’ve learnt to also be more thankful and not to take things or people for granted. I’m thankful to have family and friends who love me. I’m thankful for being healthy, for having the strength and energy to do things. I’m thankful for all the experienced I’ve gained. Sure, there were regrets but I’ve learnt from the mistakes and its time to just move on. Plan well for your future and enjoy life the best way you can. Age doesn’t really stop you.

So a word of advice to those who dread turning 30, don’t be. Trust me; it’s not at all that bad.

I’m 32 years old today and looking forward to greater years ahead!

P/S: Today is also Bono’s (U2) and Nick Heidfeld’s (BMW Sauber driver) birthday. So Happy Birthday to Bono and Nick!

The best birthday pressie of the day

The 51 things

2007-04-30T09:05:00.000-07:00

Eiseai tagged me to do this some time ago. Sorry it took so long, dear :)

1. Your gender:
Very much a female :)

2. Single?
Not anymore

3. Want to be?
A better person

4. Age?
32 in 10 days!

5. Age you wish you were:
Being a teenager again would be good but this age is not actually that bad. Like they say, with age, comes experience

6. The color of your eyes:
Dark brown

7. Yourself:
Too nice

8. Your Hair:
A lot! :) Must have it layered….

9. Your Favorite Item:
Has to be my phone

10. Your Favorite Drink:
Nothing in particular. Warm water is still the best, I think

11. The Room You Are In:
I’m in the office now. Don’t have a room (just a gundu maaa).

12. Your Pets:
Used to have a cat called ‘Meow’ but she left us. Sob..sob

13. What you want to be in Ten Years:
If my other half hits the jackpot, I hope to retire young and do nothing. Hihi. But seriously, I hope I’m still healthy so that I’ll be able to do a lot of things, especially to take care of my loved ones. Career wise, of course I want to be in a better position than where I am right now.

14. What You're Not:
A control freak

15. One of Your Wish list Items:
The discipline to exercise

16. The Last Thing You Did:
Spring clean my office desk

17. Your Favorite Book:
Don’t have one in particular but I love Jodi Picoult’s books.

18. The Last Thing You Ate:
Lamb chop, fries and coleslaw (last night’s dinner)

19. Your Life:
Is like a roller coaster. Many ups and downs

20. Your Mood:
Bored at the moment. I should have taken leave today. Yawnnnnnn…..

21. Favorite color:
Dah nama pun Trueblue, so its obviously BLUE

22. My lover is:
My other half

23. I'm listening to:
Timbaland’s Give it to me

24. Maybe I should:
Start doing some work!

25. I love:
My family, of course

26. My best friends are:
My close friends (they know who they are)

27. I don't understand:
Nasty people

28. I miss:
Being slim :)

29. A lot of people say:
that I'm too patient

30. The meaning of my name:
I don’t think it has any meaning

31. Love is:
"Love is the master key that opens the gates of happiness." - Oliver Wendell Holmes

32. Read the newspaper:
Almost everyday.

33. Take walks in the rain:
Whatever for?

34. Drive:
A Honda Civic

35. Like to drive fast?
Depends if it’s a long straight road and there’s no passengers with me

36. Been out of the country:
Yes

37. Been in love:
Definitely a yes!

38. Ran away from home:
Never

39. Been on stage:
Yes, various events during secondary school, university and work.

40. Judged other people by their clothing:
Don’t judge but just wonder

41. Are you trendy?
Not really. I’m just a simple person

42. Something that happened to you in 1995?
The year I entered university

43. Last thing you said aloud?
“Hi babe”, to a colleague who passed by

44. What colour is your toothbrush?
Maroon

45. Last thing you bought?
Petrol for my car

46. Best ice cream flavour?
Vanilla

47. Last person you hugged?
My daughter

48. Do you talk a lot?
Maybe only with my family. With others, I tend to listen more

49. Is laughter the best medicine?
Most definitely. There’s nothing like a good laugh to brighten up the day

50. Do you prefer giving smiles or getting them?
Both but to give, I must know the person. It’s hard to smile at total strangers

51. Do you admit when are wrong?
Always

Yippee...!!

2007-04-25T16:35:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow has been declared a holiday! And I'll be taking leave on Friday. So, a long weekend for me. Yeah....!

I just want to relax and do nothing.

If you guys are taking a long break, have a great one!

I know I will :)

Damn slow

2007-04-23T18:40:00.000-07:00

Oh.My.God!!!!!

What the hell is wrong with me?

Have you ever had those days or moments where you feel like you are the most stupid person on earth? That's exactly what I'm feeling right now.

My brain doesn't seem to be functioning well today. I can't put two and two together. I find it hard to digest information. Something so simple to someone else sounds so ridiculously alien to me! I keep staring into space and thinking 'huh?', 'what?'. I'm in blur land at the moment. Everything seems to be going slow. I feel mentally tired. Been trying so hard to think but something seems to be blocking the use of my head. I feel like I'm torturing my brain.

What the hell is wrong with me?

Am I too overwhelmed with the number of assignments given to me lately? Or am I just too nervous because the assignment is something new? I am still at the confused stage and not 100% sure what to do. Been given a lot of reading materials to read lately and I fear I won't be able to quickly catch up. Now is that stupid or what? Damn...Maybe I expect too much from myself. I wanna do a good job and now I feel pressured to prove that I can do it.

Seriously, I'm having panic attacks now. Ok Trueblue...relax and take a deep breath...

Ackkkk...Help!

My U.R.S

2007-04-16T16:50:00.000-07:00

When it comes to shoes for the office, I’m not that particular about the brand. I may be fussy about the design but it doesn’t have to be overly expensive. The main thing is it fits my feet well and comfortable enough for office wear. Gone are the days of wearing really high heeled shoes. After having a kid, the last thing I want to do is to strain my back. Skinny, pointed heels are a no-no for me. The heel has to be thick and not more than 3 inches high.

Everyone has a favourite pair of shoe and mine would be this U.R.S and Inc shoe I bought 3 years ago. There’s nothing fancy or unique about the shoe but it’s so comfortable to wear. Even after long walks, my feet won’t easily get tired. I like it so much that until today, I wear it to the office. It does look a bit worn-out but I really don’t care.

Little did I know that someone else would like the shoe as well.

I was accompanying a friend to a shoe store one day and it was the day when I wore my U.R.S shoe. While waiting for my friend, I thought I’d try on a few pairs as well. So, I took my shoes off, put it aside and went on to try some shoes. Somewhere nearby, an Arab lady was also busy looking out for shoes. It wasn’t hard to notice her because she had like a billion shopping bags in her hands. Anyway, what really caught my attention was when she suddenly went on to try out my shoe. Yes, my shoe! I was so surprised that I didn’t know whether to laugh or to tell her off. She then carried on walking to the mirror and checked herself out with MY shoe! What I found bizarre was that a) my shoe does not at all look new, b) its not even placed on the shelves. I just chucked it on the floor.

So, why on earth would she want to try out that shoe??

Me: Excuse me, that’s my shoe you’re trying out
Arab lady: What? Oh sorry, sorry..I didn’t know
Me: Gave an irritated look. It’s ok
Arab lady: You have nice shoe
Me: I know (smiled and walked off)

When you think about it, it’s actually kind of funny. Oh well, at least I know my 3-year old shoe still looks very much desirable :)

The 'X' dream

2007-04-13T11:47:00.000-07:00

Last night I dreamt of my ex-boyfriend. No, didn’t desperately want to dream about him. It just happened. No, nothing hanky panky or anything like that. It was an ordinary dream and he was just in it.

I have no idea why he was in my dream. I haven’t seen him since we last broke up in 1997. We didn’t part in good terms. We have not kept in touch, most definitely not in talking terms and I am very sure that even after all these years, he still hates me. To be honest, if I did see him anywhere, I would avoid or pretend not to notice. Wouldn’t have a clue what to say. So, to avoid any embarrassment, might as well run away.

The dream felt really weird because he was actually talking to me! To me? Yes, me! Words actually came out from his mouth and it was directed to me. And to think I actually forgot how he sounds like! Somehow we attended the same event; he came up to me and started chatting away! He wanted to know whether we could be friends again. I just stood there and didn’t say a word. Felt too dumbstruck to even respond. Not because of the excitement of being friends again but still shocked that he wanted to talk to me!

I remembered waking up and thinking “Wow! Did that just happen?”. What a strange dream. It felt kind of creepy as well.

I was still thinking about it when I got to the office. I wondered if the dream meant anything so for the fun of it, I actually looked it up at one of the sites on dream analysis. I know the interpretation may not necessarily be correct but like I said, for fun-fun only maaaaaaaaaaaa……So anyway, check this out.

“To dream about your ex-boyfriend/girlfriend or ex-husband/wife or that you and your ex got back together again, suggests that something or someone in your current life that is bringing out similar feelings you felt during the relationship with your ex. The dream may be a way of alerting you to the same or similar behavior in a current relationship. What you learn from that previous relationship may need to be applied to the present one so that you do not repeat the same mistake. Alternatively, past lovers often highlight the positive experiences you had with that person.”

My response to this:
Huh?

A note to a friend

2007-04-12T09:38:00.000-07:00

Dear friend,
There are no words to explain how much I am blessed to have you as a friend. We haven’t known each other that long but it feels like I’ve known you forever. From day one we were introduced to each other, we just instantly clicked. I think that’s really great because normally it would take me a while to get close to another person. The fact that we had the same wavelength made the friendship much easier.

You have a way with words which I really admire. When I’m upset or down, your words of encouragement always brings me back up again. You know how I love to laugh, so you come up with jokes/remarks that would make me laugh my head off.

It’s easy to talk to someone when you know the other person really listens. They don’t judge you. They don’t necessarily have to quickly offer solutions. They are there to lend us their ears. That’s what I see in you. You let me ramble on and on and at the end of the day you always know how to make me smile again.

Thank you so much for your friendship. Good friends are hard to find so I hope ours will last forever.

Take care my friend. I wish you all the happiness in the world :)

Shopping spree

2007-04-09T15:48:00.000-07:00

I picked up a bad habit.

I don’t know how it started or why on earth I did it.

I have never been the type and it puzzles me why I chose to do it.

The habit started a couple of months ago and I’ve only actually realized it when I got my credit card bill the other day.

Now what do you think the bad habit is? Well, the entry title and picture above is a major hint already la :). If you guessed shopping, you’re right but this is not just any ordinary shopping. It’s more of the ‘when i’m upset, I wanna buy things to calm myself’ kind of shopping.

Oh yes..I was in a bit of stress lately. A typical behaviour when I’m sad, hurt or upset at something or someone, is to hide in one corner and cry myself out. But lately, I find myself wanting to buy things just so that I can feel good about myself.

I’m not much of a credit card user. I try to limit my spending and usually, if I want to buy something, I’ll pay in cash. I will only use my card when it’s really, really necessary. And when I do use my card, I will always, always pay in full. I like to settle any dues immediately.

So one morning a few days ago, I was in total panic when I got my credit card statement. Adding up the amount spent for 2 credit card statements came to about RM4000. What the hell did I spend on in one month? And we’re not talking one or two major items here.

Looking back at what I did, I then remembered it was the time when I was really stressed out. I was upset and sad with some people’s behaviour and thought spending on things would make the feeling go away. I should have known better, right? Silly me. So anyway, apart from the normal monthly payment for items (phone bill, insurance etc), I bought myself a handbag, a few work clothes, an I-Pod Nano, a handphone and gifts for some friends. I wasn’t bothered to take out cash and happily used my credit cards when I didn’t have enough cash with me.

I guess I was in some kind of trance and didn’t realize what I was doing. That credit card bill brought me back to reality. I was in shock for a few hours and quickly went on to sort out my finances.

I have paid off everything which means I have to work extra hard to limit my spending for the next few months. Thank God I learnt my lesson much sooner. Thank God it was still under control.

Money is a bit tight as compared to what I’m used to but at least I don’t owe anyone anything.

Funny

2007-04-05T20:30:00.000-07:00

I was passing by Big Boss’s room this morning and suddenly heard “Ahh..*Trueblue*, you came at the right moment. I want to talk to you”.

And there I was thinking “Oh no..What could he possibly want to talk to me about?”. I went in and he asked me to close the door. Oh-oh. Not good news, I felt.

I did mention in my previous entry (in the other blog) about certain movements happening around the office and that I was offered a new position. I found out the latest info last week (they want to delay it) and asked for some clarification. After some ding dong here and there, there was an attempt to rectify the matter but apparently it was too late.

I guess Big Boss was confused with my concern and wanted to explain the matter from the management point of view. Somehow, whatever he said just didn't make sense.

Frankly speaking, I really don’t care anymore and whatever the management wants me to do, I’ll just do it. There could be risks in the long run, but I guess I’ve come to a point where it doesn’t matter anymore.

He spent the whole 15 minutes complementing me on my work, telling me I had so much potential and that I’ve got a whole lot to offer (pep talk to make me feel good la ni). He gave me advice that I should try not to associate myself with people/environment that gives out negative vibes. I need to just focus on positive things as it would help me achieve more and become a successful person. Blah..Blah..Blah..

Ok, his advice makes sense. BUT, with all the drama that’s been going on for the past 2 years in this office, I just can’t seem to be easily influenced with what he says. I’m even questioning the compliments he gave. Can believe or not?? Told my manager and we actually laughed about it.

Oh well, life goes on. I am after all just a ‘gundu’ in this office.

Whatever…

Not quite a happy story to share to start off the new blog, huh?

Mine..Mine..Mine..!!!

2007-04-05T16:30:00.000-07:00

Hey, Hey, Hey..Check it out :)

Hello everyone!

Yes, finally my own blog. :)

I have no clue what to write today but do check out my later posts ya?!!

*Trueblue's Lifestories*